Why Everyone Hates Starshine Perfection
by Storygirl000
Summary: What's worse than demons, sirens, and overly competitive rivals? How about a being forced to read a Mary Sue fic "starring" yourself? Equestria Girls. Eventual crossover. Rated T for language and implied sexual content.
1. Prologue

**The inspiration for this story came from the Danny Phantom story "Teh Soopr Gost Gurl" by Lady-Valiant, who in turn was inspired by an Eragon fanfic, which was inspired by...you get the picture, a "Canon characters react to a Sue fic" story is not new.**

 **And yes, I already have a few ongoing stories I need to update. Unfortunately, I've lost the motivation for now. So until I get that motivation back, enjoy this story! (And review please.)**

00000

 **Prologue**

"Is this the right place?"

The girl turned to one of her companions, a blond wearing country-style clothing. "It definetly looks like it, Applejack. This is the only abandoned warehouse in town."

Another girl-a nervous one with pink hair-shuddered. "I don't know about this, Sunset. I'm getting a bad feeling from this place."

"You're just overreacting, Flutters," a rainbow-haired girl scoffed. "The note we got only said that whoever it was wanted to start a lame book club or something."

"Fluttershy's right to be nervous, Rainbow Dash," a violet-haired girl interjected. "Who knows what manner of wastrel is crawling around in there?"

Applejack sighed. "Wastrel, Rarity? Really?"

A curly pink-haired girl spoke up. "You know what I think? I think it's a book-signing party!" With that, she let out a squeal.

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "You think everything's a party, Pinkie."

"Guys, how about we just go inside and find out?" Sunset proposed. "And if whoever it is does have bad intentions, I say we can take them out."

The other girls nodded, Fluttershy doing so more reluctantly.

Sunset knocked on the warehouse door. When she got no response, she tried opening it and found that it was unlocked. Cautiously, she and the others walked in.

As soon as the last girl walked in, the door slammed shut, causing Fluttershy to shriek. Rainbow tried to open it again, but found her efforts to be in vain. "It's locked!" she yelped. "Someone trapped us in here!"

Pinkie Pie, meanwhile, was looking around the room. "Are most abandoned warehouses supposed to look like this?" she asked.

The others took a look at their surprisingly well-lit surroundings. The warehouse was medium-sized, with a high ceiling. Red carpeting covered every inch of the floor. In the middle of the room were a dozen or so comfy-looking chairs surrounding a small brown table.

"Hmm. This is kind of odd," Applejack said, scratching her chin in thought.

Pinkie ran over to the chairs and yelled "Hey! There's a book here!"

"Let me see it," Sunset said, walking over to Pinkie. The book was handed to her, and she took a look at the cover.

The book itself was bright pink. The title and name of the author were written in sparkly white letters.

"'Teh Advenchers of Starshine Perfection'," she read, "by...OmniLuvur?"

"That grammar seems absolutely dismal, darling," Rarity pointed out. "Who do you think left it here?"

Sunset shrugged.

Applejack walked over to them. "Ya know, since it don't look like we'll be gettin' outta here anytime soon, why don't we read the book?"

"All in favor?" Rainbow asked. Seven hands were raised.

With that, everyone sat down in whatever chair was closest to them.

"I'll start," Sunset volunteered. The others nodded.

With that, Sunset opened the book and began to read.


	2. Meet Starshine Perfection

**Chapter 1: Meet Starshine Perfection**

 _A/N: Hullloooo, all u out their in fanfikshun land!111!111 Welcum 2 my stori!_

Sunset blinked. "Did this girl fail first grade english, or what?"

 _I no yur all gonna luuuuuv my stroi! It takes plase during teh 1rst Ekwestria Gurls movy! Lets get strated!_

"What's Equestria Girls?" Rainbow asked.

"It's a movie that chronicles the events surrounding the last Fall Formal dance. It has two sequels, with a third coming to Netflix in October," Pinkie responded seriously.

Everyone stared at her. "What? I'm immune to the fourth wall."

Sunset shrugged and continued reading.

 _Wuns opon a tiem, their wuz a bootiful grl named Starshine Perfection._

"Starshine Perfection?" Rarity repeated.

"What kind of a name is that?" Rainbow asked in disbelief.

"Asked the girl named Rainbow Dash," muttered Applejack.

 _Her skin wuz a pail pnk and her hair wuz all the colers of teh ranebow and hr eyes wer a radint silver. She wor a bootiful wite tank top with pnk lase trim n a hart on teh frunt tat wuz all teh colers of teh ranebow wite skiny jeans tat shode off her bootiful curves n had sequns tat sparkld n al teh colers of teh ranebow n a pare off wite hi heels tat had straps tat-_

"Sparkled in all the colors of the rainbow?" Fluttershy guessed.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Gee, however did you figure that out?"

 _She wnt 2 CVantrlot Hi Skool wich wuz a publicc skool. She wuz teh most popeular grl ther n all teh guys wnted hr, but she onlee lovd 1 guy...youll fnd out hoo in teh sekwel, teehee!_

Pinkie groaned. "We have the makings of a Mary Sue here, guys."

"What's a 'Mary Sue'?" Rainbow asked.

"Mary Sues are creatures that are 'perfect' in every way, shape, and form-except they warp other characters to their will," Pinkie explained. "This 'Starshine Perfection' is shaping up to be one."

"Who do you think this guy she loves is?" AJ asked.

Pinkie grimaced. "I'll just say that the sequel is probably going to be a crossover, judging by her name."

"How'd you get all that from two words, darling?" Rarity asked.

"Less questions, more reading. Sunset?"

Sunset nodded and went back to the book.

 _Unforchunetly, onlee 1 person haited Starshine Perfection. She wuz a totle beotch, nd she wuz obsesd wit fashion n stuf nd sade darlng all teh tiem!_

It took everyone all of two seconds to realize that she wasn't talking about Sunset. And one more to guess who she was actually talking about.

"Why me?" Rarity moaned.

 _It wuz RARTEE!11q1! Nd wers, she forcd Suneet Shimker 2 doo hr drty werk! Ncludng bulying teh otter stoodnts! Cuz she wuz 2 laizy!_

"Hey!" Sunset yelled. "I did that of my own free will!" Realizing what she'd said, she added "Not that that's a good thing..."

Rarity was too busy fuming to comment.

 _nyways, 1 day Starshine Perfection wuz wocking 2 skool wen she saw sumwun fall out of teh stachu n frunt of teh skool!_

"Twilight!" Rainbow realized.

"Lucky for both Twilights, they had other commitments," Pinkie sighed.

" _Hey!" Starshine calld. "Hoo r u?"_

 _Teh girl wuz al purply n stuff. She wor nrdy cloths. "Im Twilite, she sed, nd im lookng fer mai crown!'_

 _"Fluttrshi had acrown wit hr! Ill help u find hr!" Starshine offrd, sinse shee wuz soooooooooo nise liek that._

Rainbow and Applejack gagged. Rarity still silently fumed.

 _Nd so tey woked n2 teh skool but Twielit wuz clumzy so Starshine hepled hr 2 wok. Thn tey saw Flutrshi but Sundet Shimker wuz bulliying hr! Can tey hlp boht grls? Fiend aout nex tiem!_

Sunset looked at the page. "That's the end of this chapter," she announced. "Who wants to read next?"

Nobody spoke. Finally, Rainbow Dash raised her hand. "Might as well take one for the team," she muttered.

Sunset handed the book to her.

"Um, how come nobody's commented on the fact that she misspelled everyone's names except her own?" Fluttershy asked.

"Because she's misspelling practically everything," Sunset responded.

Rainbow gulped, turned the page, and began reading.

00000

 **Anyone who guesses the name of the poor sap Starshine Perfection loves gets an Interenet cookie. As Pinkie said, your only hint is the author's pen name (OmniLuvur).**


	3. Friendship and Stuff

**Friendship and Stuff**

 _AN: Helllllooooooo agen! I bet yur oll lovng my stori so far!_

"No," everyone responded.

 _Nyways, hears teh nex chaptr! Starshine saw Sumser Shimker bulying Flutershi but noo tat beotch Rasity wuz puting hr up 2 it. "Hey stop!11" she sed._

 _Suhet Shimker ternd arownd "Hoor u?" She axed Twilite._

"She took an ax to Twilight?" Pinkie asked.

Everyone stared at her.

"Sorry, morbid joke. Continue."

 _"Im Twylit Spackle n im heer_ _4 mai_ _craon!" Twilyte sed. "U stol it!11!" Starshine gapsed._

 _"Ono! Ratty mustv foun aout abaout te powah yer crown hods n wans 2 taik over teh skool wit it wen she winz it teh Fal Forml!" Starshine cried._

"Wait, how would I have known about the crown's power?" Rarity asked. "Come to think of it, how does _she_ know? Twilight never told her."

"Sues have a unique ability to get around logic," Pinkie explained.

"So they're kinda like you then?" AJ asked.

"Except I use my powers for good! Anyways, continue."

 _"Ono1" Flittershu gaspd. "Dont wory, ill help get it bak! An so wil my frends! Apeljak, Ranebow Dash, n Pinki Pye!"_

"One small problem," AJ said. "We kinda hated each other at that moment in time."

 _Wut abot u?" Starshine Perfection axed Sujwr Shimker. "I cant, she cryed, or Rasitee wll beet me! :-(_

"I would _never_ do that!" Rarity huffed indignantly. "Even if you did deserve it at the time...no offense."

"None taken," Sunset muttered.

 _"Dont wury! Well save u frum Ragity wen we can" shee promisd._

 _"Youd reely do tha 4 me? Thank u!" Sonser Shimker cryed happly._

"Why am I crying all the time? Sunset asked.

Rainbow shrugged and continued reading.

 _Nyways, tey wen 2 teh gim and Twilyt sined up 4 prnces of teh Fal Formel wit AK an Pynki's help! But ten Starshine Perfection desided 2 run 2 jus in cais! YAY!_

"Three guesses as to who wins the title of Fall Formal princess, and the first two don't count," AJ groaned.

 _"Wate1" Starshine sed, "we stll need Ranebo Dash!_

 _An so tey wen to Ranebo Dash an plaid soccer wit her an tey oll had frenddshp an stuf! Yay!_

"Well, that was abbreviated," Fluttershy said. Everyone nodded in agreement.

 _Meenwile, Simset Shimker wuz toking wit tat beotch Raquity! "Im sorry I didnt get teh craon pleez forgiv me!" she cryed._

Sunset and Rarity shot glares at the book. Rainbow continued reading it.

 _Raritu glaird hr. "I hav an embarasng vidio wit Twyliet n it so ill fergiv u this tiem!" Shee grumpd. Ten shee startd singng._

"Do I have to?" Rarity groaned.

 _Dis dai wil b jus prefect_

 _Teh kynd ov dai ov wich Ive dreemed since i wuz smol_

 _All teh ponys i wil controle_

 _Evry stalion mair en fole_

 _Hoo sez a grl cant reelly hav it allllll? Ten shee startd laffing._

00000

Somewhere in Equestria, Queen Chrysalis got an odd feeling. Like someone had ripped off her villain song...

She shrugged it off and decided to figure out where Thorax had gone.

00000

 _Ono!111!1 Rartee's gonna hyoomilaet Twylyt! Can Starshine Perfection help? Fiend aout nex chaptr!111_

Rainbow blinked. "That second-to-last sentence was actually coherent. I'm impressed."

"Who's reading next?" Sunset asked.

Pinkie snatched the book from Rainbow Dash. "I'll go!"

"One question," Fluttershy asked. "How are we going to get out of here when we finish reading this?"

Everyone looked at each other. Then Pinkie held up a bottle of sprinkles.

"...okay, that'll work," Sunset decided. "Start reading, Pinkie."

00000

 **Quick note: This takes place post-** ** _Legend_** ** _of Everfree,_** **so expect a few references about the girls' powers to be made, as well as some slight TimberLight (what I assume the Timber Spruce/Sci-Twi ship is called). I probably should've mentioned this earlier, but I wanted to wait until after I saw the movie.**

 **(And please leave a review, they make me happy.)**


	4. This is shit, this is shit

**This is shit, this is shit**

 _A/N: Welcum bak evrywun! I plann on giving Twi-Twy sum romanse n this chaptr! Plus i swichd up teh swntrak! Lets get startd!_

"'Twi-Twi'?" Sunset asked.

"Romance?" Rainbow asked.

"Soundtrack?" Fluttershy asked.

Pinkie shrugged and continued reading.

 _So teh nex dai Starshine and Twylite wer wokng daon teh hawl but evrywun wuz laffng at Twy!_

 _Ono! Sed Starshine Perfection. "Rapity mustv postd a hyoomiliatng vid ov u on youTube!"_

"What is it with this girl figuring out the villain's plans so quickly?" AJ asked.

"Sues and logic mix like oil and very pink, very sparkly water," Pinkie responded.

 _"Ono! Wut will I doo! Twyliet panked._

 _"Dont wurry! Ill go tel teh othrs to put on pony eers n tales n well sng a song n teh cafatria!" Starshine sed._

"Hey! That was my idea!" Rarity yelled.

Everyone stared at her. Noticing this, Rarity blushed slightly and sat down. "Apologies, darlings, but the insanity and poor writing are getting to me. Continue."

 _N so, latr tat dai, tey wen to teh cafytria n Starshine Perfection pkd aout a song 2 plai! (A/N: Ths is ma fave song! :):):))_

"Oh my stars..." AJ groaned. "Why do I have the feeling this song's gonna be a terrible pick?"

Pinkie scanned the pages. "It's not terrible, it's just...very bubblegum pop-rock. But it does sorta fit."

"What is it?" Fluttershy asked.

"Let me read, and you'll find out."

 _A funkee tekno beet strted playng throo teh cafitirea. It wuz a song Starshine Perfection lovd t2 lissen 2 wit hr boifrend!_

"Somehow I don't picture him liking this song..." Pinkie mused.

Rarity spoke up. "Out of curiosity, Pinkie, are you going to tell us who this boyfriend of Starshine's is?" She shuddered. "Oh dear, I'm actually getting into this story..."

Pinkie sighed. "Tell you what. If she doesn't reveal this boyfriend's identity by the end of the story, and no one has guessed it yet in the reviews, I'll tell you who. Alright?"

The girls nodded, and Pinkie went back to reading OmniLuvur's (ahem) masterpiece.

 _Starshine Perfection pulld aout hr portble miek n began sngng!_

 _Uh huh, this my shit_

 _All the girls stomp yo feet like this_

"Celestia why..." Sunset moaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Hollaback Girl? Seriously?" Rainbow asked, not looking very thrilled.

"Hey, her song choice, not mine!" Pinkie defended.

 _Ten te rst of teh grls startd snging along!_

 _Few times I've been around that track_

 _So it's not just gonna happen like that_

 _Cause I aint no hollaback girl_

 _I aint no hollaback girl_

 _Few times I've been around that track_

 _So it's not just gonna happen like that_

 _Cause I aint no hollaback girl_

 _I aint no hollaback girl_

"Hang on a sec," Applejack said, looking at the book. "She's actually spelling the lyrics right!"

"She probably copy-pasted them from some website. You know, like the writer did," Pinkie pointed out.

 **Hey! I only copy-pasted them for reference!**

"The fact remains that you copy-pasted!"

 **Sigh...this is why I try not to interact with characters.**

"Pinkie, who are you talking to?" Sunset asked.

"The writer of this story. On a side note, this is an overdone genre, and I much prefer the show's actual writers."

 **...Fuck you, Pinkie.**

"Anyways!" Rainbow said loudly. "Can we continue with the story?"

"Sure, why not," Pinkie sighed. "Now where was I...oh yeah! Right here!"

 _Oh, this my shit, this my shit_

 _Oh, this my shit, this my shit_

 _Oh, this my shit, this my shit_

 _Oh, this my shit, this my shit_

 _Ten Starshine Perfection dansd ovr to Rapeity-_

"WHAT?!" Rarity shrieked. Everyone was blown back a bit.

Pinkie looked at the book. "That's...an unfortunate misspelling."

Rarity gritted her teeth. "Give me that book, so that I may shred it with a million diamonds."

"Not until we're done reading it!"

 _-n startd braggn:_

 _I heard that you were talkin shit_

 _And you didn't think that I would hear it_

 _People hear you talking like that_

 _Getting everybody fired up_

 _So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack_

 _Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out_

 _That's right, put your pom-poms down_

 _Getting everybody fired up_

 _Ten she dansd awai n Ratiti wuz pissd off!_

"That accurately describes my feelings towards this story," Rarity growled through clenched teeth.

 _All teh studns wer dansng alog to teh sog! Starshines plan had werkd! Of cors it did, cuz she's soooooooooooooooooooooooo awsoum et singin n dansn!_

Rainbow and Applejack gagged. Pinkie continued reading.

 _All te Maen 6 wer happi en Twilit wuz makin aout wit a boy!_

 _"Whooz that?" Starshine Perfection aked?_

 _"Dis is ma noo boyfrend Flush Sentret! Twyliet sed._

Everyone stared at the book.

"...are they even dating in real life?" Fluttershy asked.

Sunset shook her head. "It wouldn't work out with Pony Twilight and Human Twilight is with Timber, so probably not."

"That was pretty quick," Rainbow noted. "Pinkie, why do you have your phone out?"

Pinkie-who had indeed gotten her phone out-looked at Rainbow. "There's a Sentret here. I want it."

"Where?"

"In the toilet."

Everyone groaned. "Just continue with the story, Pinkie."

 _But meenwile Raquifah wuz stll pisd, so shee call Sunpet Shimker over n tolds hr to fraim Twi-Tie 4 somtin or els! But wat is it? Find aout nex tiem!"_

"Raquifah?" Applejack muttered, not believing what she'd heard.

"I'm half convinced she's misspelling Rarity's name this way on purpose," Pinkie said. "Who wants to go next?"

Applejack raised her hand, and Pinkie passed the book to her. "What do you think the next chapter'll be about?" she asked.

"Probably the whole photograph scandal and cleaning up the gym. And maybe getting ready for the Fall Formal. Good luck."

Applejack gulped and began to read.

00000

 **My guilty pleasure song (aka Hollaback Girl) belongs to Gwen Stefani. And, as usual, the only hints you get on the identity of Starshine's love sla-I mean,** ** _boyfriend_** **, is the "author's" pen name (OmniLuvur) and that he is not from MLP.**


	5. That's an Academy record!

**That's an Academy record!**

 _A/N: Hulllllloooooo, agin1! Kwic kweshtun: wuts a "Marie Soo?" Sum peepel r sayn tat Starshine Perfection es wun in teh revyoos..._

"You are!" everyone yelled.

 _Neewais, bak 2 teh storee! So evrywun wantd 2 not voat 4 Ralitee aftr4 teh cafterya song, but ten teh jim wuz recked! How auful!_

"Actually, now that I think about it, why didn't you or Twilight just steal the crown? It would've caused a lot less hassle..." Fluttershy wondered.

Sunset sighed. "Because I wanted it at a time when the entire Student Body would be together and both Twilights are too damn nice. Continue, AJ."

 _Vies Prinsypal Loona wuz llookin at teh rubbel. "Hoo did tis/" shee asced._

 _Ten Sunet Shimker caim up 2 hr cryng an sad "it wuz Twilite! Shee did tis!"_

 _"I did not! Twylyt yeled._

 _Ok I bleeve u,". Lunaa sed._

Everyone stared at the book.

"...that's got to be some sort of record for the fastest a conflict has been resolved," Rainbow noted.

"Pretty cheap, if you ask me," AJ muttered.

 _Sonnet Shimker ket criyng. "Waaaah Rerty bulleed mee in2 dis!"_

 _Starshine Took Synswt Shimker asied. "Its ok u can stai wit me end Ill protct u frum dat meany beotch!"_

 _Sundet Shimker strtd cryng hapilee. "O tank u!"_

"Why the _hell_ am I crying all the time?!" Sunset yelled.

Pinkie shrugged. "I think it's called 'Draco In Leather Pants'-ing a character."

Rarity was too busy fuming about her continued antagonistic role to comment.

 _N so tey oll cleend up teh gim so teh dans coud continyoo! Yaaay!_

 _Latr, teh main 7 (teh maine 5 w/ Starshine Perfection and Sumpset Shimker) wer oll at Starshine Perfection's famli's booteek-_

"Um, Rarity? You alright?" Rainbow asked.

If looks could kill, both the book and Applejack would've been utterly decimated.

"THAT _BRAT!_ " Rarity shrieked. "THAT BOUTIQUE HAS BEEN IN MY FAMILY FOR _GENERATIONS!_ HOW _DARE_ SHE SULLY ITS NAME!"

The next few minutes were spent dodging randomly flung pointy diamonds and attempting to restrain the furious fashionista.

Finally, Pinkie managed to calm Rarity down by reminding her that the story was fictional. While still mad, Rarity ended her assault on everyone.

Oddly enough, nothing had been damaged during the rampage.

Applejack sat back down and-still shaking-continued to read the story.

 _-n ordr 2 get dressd 5 teh dandse wen Starshine Perfection got n upseting fone cal. Shee startd 2 cry!_

 _"Wuts teh mattr? Fippershee asxed, bcuz shee wuz so kind!_

"So, does that imply that the rest of us don't care about her?" Rainbow asked.

AJ shrugged. "Makes sense."

 _"Mai boifrend is 2 bizi fiten aliyens 2 cum 2 th danse!" Starshine Perfection cryed._

 _Awww its ok, he stll luvs u!" Flutrshie said, huging Starshine Perfection._

"No, he doesn't," Pinkie growled. "It's only because of your Sue powers that he doesn't go running back to _any_ of his canon love interests!"

"OOOOOOOOOH!" everyone else yelled.

 _N wit thet sed n dun, evriwun got in dere dreses! Starshine Perfection's wuz teh best, it had wun sleev n wuz all wite wit a belt dat shown in oll teh colers of teh ranebow en shee stll wor her hi heals!_

 _Now, wut will happn at teh danse? Fnd aout nex tim!_

"Who's next?" AJ asked.

Fluttershy took one look at Rarity, realized she was definitely not in the right mind to read the book, and said "I'll go."

AJ nodded and passed the book to her. Fluttershy looked at the chapter title and realized she'd made the right decision

 _Chaptr 5: Rairtee gets beetn!_

00000

 **Two new hints on Starshine Perfection's boyfriend's identity! Let's count them all:**

 **1\. The "author's" pen name (OmniLuvur)**

 **2\. He's not from MLP.**

 **3\. He fights aliens.**

 **4\. He has had more than one canon love interest.**

 **Can you guess his identity before Pinkie reveals all? Leave a review and find out!**

 **~Storygirl000**


	6. The Final Dance-Maybe

**The Final Dance...Maybe**

 _A/N: KWIT COLIN STARSHINE PERFECTION A MAREESOU! An Im not sum smeli troll! Wuts rong wit u people?!_

"We're perfectly fine. I can't say the same about you, though..." Pinkie muttered.

 _Aneewais, bak 2 teh stori! Starshine Perfection an hr frends drov 2 teh danse in a leemo tat Starshine had rentd. Tey wer all soooooooooooo ecsited an cheeri!_

Rainbow and AJ gagged. Fluttershy continued to read.

 _Wen tey got ther, Twyliet met up wit Flahs an tey maid aout. N stuff! Starshine Perfection wuz happy 4 dem!_

 _Den dey went insied teh scool n startd twerkin-_

"GAAAAH!" Rainbow shrieked "That's _not_ something I needed to picture!"

Sunset held her head in her hands. "I need some brain bleach..." she grumbled.

"You and me both," AJ groaned.

Fluttershy waited until everyone had vented their distaste for the scene, then continued to read.

 _-an shimyin an shakn an dansn! Yay 4 evrywun!_

 _Den Prinsypul Selescha went onstaij an annaounsed teh winnr of teh princiss titel!_

 _"Teh winnr is..." shee posed 4 dramatc afect. "...Starshine Perfection!_

Everyone groaned. AJ clapped her hands together. "Called it!"

Rarity sighed. "Honestly, at that time, I would've preferred you winning to her, Sunset."

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Even if I was going to use the crown for world domination?"

"Even then. Continue, Fluttershy."

 _Starshine Perfection wuz soooooooooo happi! But wen shee wen onstaij-an heers teh twis-teh craon had ben STOLN! By RAIRTE111 (Haha! Bet u dinit c dat cumin!)_

"WHAT A TWEEST!" Pinkie Pie yelled.

Rarity just continued to fume over her role in the story.

 _ono!" Starshine Perfection yelled._

 _"HAHAHAHHAHAHAH!1!1" Raetee laffd! "FInaly I hav OLL teh powa!" Den shee put teh craoun on! Ono!_

 _Ten shee trned into a hideus she-deemun!_

"Excuse me!" Rarity huffed. "Even as a she-demon, I still have more beauty and elegance than _you_ , you little brat!"

"OOOOOOOOOH!" everyone else yelled.

 _"HHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I WLL ROOL TEH WURLD!' Demunty yalled. Den shee branewoshed evrywun but teh maine 7, cuz shee wuz a stoopid littel beotch!_

 _"Not so fast!" Starshine yelld! "Well stop u!"_

Suddenly, a loud beeping sound was heard throughout the warehouse, causing everyone except Pinkie to cover their ears.

"What the hell is _that?!_ " AJ yelled.

Pinkie, looking sheepish, pulled a flashing red alarm out of her hair, and pressed a button on it, shutting it off.

Sunset looked at the alarm. "What's that?" she asked.

"It's my Deus Ex Machina alert," Pinkie explained. "It goes off whenever I come across a deus ex machina in bad stories. I'll turn the volume down."

Everyone stared at her for a minute.

"...Pinkie?" Rainbow finally said.

"What?"

"You're weird sometimes, you know that?"

"Yep! Continue, Fluttershy!"

 _An ten teh Mani & startd flotin up! An tey wer glowin reely britely! An den Starshine sed "Its ovr, Deemunitee!"_

 _Ten teh gurlz groo ponee eers an tales!_

Everyone stared at the book. Pinkie patted her Deus Ex Machina alert. "This thing's never let me down."

"At least you guys had _some_ form of justification," Sunset muttered. " _This_ transformation just came out of nowhere!"

 _An Ranebo Dash n Flyttrshu groo wingz, Sunpot Shimker groo an enrgee hornn, n Twilite n Starshine Perfection groo both!_

"Typical MLP Sue," Pinkie sighed. "Always an alicorn."

 _Demunity wuz shoked! "But im teh onlee wun wit majic! She cryed aout._

 _"No u arntQ!' Starshine Perfection yeled. "An ours is frendshp magc, so were mor powrful! TAIST TEH RANEBOW, MUTHERFUKER!"_

" _Please_ tell me she didn't just say that," AJ groaned.

"She did," Fluttershy confirmed.

 _An Demuty wuz blastd wit frendshp ranebows an turnd bak to normel! An teh craoun floo of her hed an landd on Starshine's! Yay!_

 _Starshine Perfection woked 2 Rairty an held out hr han. "U can join us f u wont!" shee offred._

"Please give me a redemption arc, please give me a redemption arc, please give me a redemption arc..." Rarity prayed.

 _But Rarety glaird at Starshine an sed "No, u littl beotch! Ill hav mah revenj!" An den shee ran of cuz shee wuz a stoopid beotch hoo dinit liek frendshp!_

"GOD DAMMIT!" Rarity yelled.

 _Starshine sied. "Oh wel, sum villins jus lieked bein villins" she sed. "Now les danse!"_

 _And ten tey startd dansin to an awsum song! (A/N: This is anuthr wun of mah favrits! I hav a lot of favrit pop songs!)_

"If it's more Hollaback Girl, I'm killing myself," AJ said.

"Um, it's not," Fluttershy said. "Just let me read it out."

 _AN den Starshine Perfection got hr miek aout an startd singin!_

 _Are we crazy?_

 _Living our lives through a lens_

 _Trapped in our white picket fence_

 _Like ornaments_

 _So comfortable, we're living in a bubble, bubble_

 _So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble_

"Oh, Katy Perry?" Sunset asked. "Didn't we cover one of her songs at a concert?"

"I thought we agreed never to speak of that day," Rarity responded.

Pinkie sighed and glared at the fourth wall. "Yay, more copy-pasted lyrics..."

 **Hey! Do you really expect me to have memorized all the words to every song I plan on using?**

 _Aren't you lonely?_

 _Up there in utopia_

 _Where nothing will ever be enough_

 _Happily numb_

 _So comfortable, we're living in a bubble, bubble_

 _So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble, trouble_

 _(Aha)_

 _So put your rose-colored glasses on_

 _And party on..._

 _An Starshine dansed an sang till mornin! An den it wuz tiem 4 Twi-Tie 2 go._

"RUN, TWILIGHT, RUN!" Rainbow yelled.

 _Starshine Perfection wantd 2 giv Twiliet hr craoun bak, but Twilite sed "Its ok! U can keap it! I dont need it neeway!"_

"Aaaand Equestria's bucked," Sunset muttered.

 _"Ill vist agen sumdai!" Twylite promisd. N shee steped throo teh portul, an evrythin wuz rite wit teh wurld! Teh end!_

 _A/N: Yay! My furst storee is finishd! Tanks 4 reeding!_

"Oh thank God," AJ muttered as Fluttershy closed the book.

"What should we do with this?" Fluttershy wondered, looking at the book.

Rarity gritted her teeth. "I'm going to use it for target practice, but first...Pinkie Pie, can you get us out of here?"

Pinkie pulled out her jar of sprinkles, which began to glow. "Okie-dokie-loki!"

The sprinkles were hurled into a wall an exploded on impact...

...which, surprisingly, did jack squat.

Everyone stared.

"H-how did that not work?" Rainbow finally asked.

"Um, girls?" Fluttershy said, her voice coming out as a high-pitched whisper of panic.

The girls looked in Fluttershy's direction. She held up the book for them to see.

The cover was glowing.

When it finally stopped, a new title graced it.

 _Starshine Perfection roks aout! Teh sekwel 2 My frst stroi!_

The girls stared in horror at the book. Finally, Sunset spoke up.

"We have to read the _sequel_ now?"

The loud "NOOOOO!" that followed was heard for miles around the warehouse.

 **00000**

 **And thus ends the first part of OmniLuvur's quartet...and our protagonists' torment. Oh boy.**

 **Rainbow Rocks starts next chapter, complete with three special guests! Also, this is the last chance you have to figure out who Starshine Perfection's** **love slave** **boyfriend is! All the hints are in the previous chapter. Leave a review to make a guess!**

 **Or...just leave a review in general. Please?**

 **PS "Chained to the Rhythm" (the song played during the dance) belongs to Katy Perry. And the she-demon version of Rarity is officially called "Demonity".**


	7. Three New Challengers Approach!

**Three New Challengers Approach!**

After the screaming had subsided, the girls sat back down, realizing they were probably going to be here awhile.

"How many of these are we going to have to keep reading?" Rainbow moaned.

Pinkie thought for a second, then spoke up. "By my count, there are going to be four books in this series, each covering a major magical event we went through. 'Roks aout' should cover the entirety of the Battle of the Bands incident, then the next two will be about the Friendship Games and Camp Everfree. Of course, that's not taking the specials into account...but I doubt they've been released yet, so it should be just those four."

Sunset raised an eyebrow in confusion. "What do you mean by _specials_?"

Before Pinkie could answer, the sound of a door opening echoed throughout the warehouse.

"DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR!" everyone yelled.

The yelling startled whoever had entered into letting the door shut.

"Dammit..." AJ muttered.

Sunset, meanwhile, took a look at the newcomers. Her eyes widened.

Standing in front of them was a trio of girls-one yellow-skinned, with poofy orange hair, one light blue-skinned with blue and dark blue-striped hair pulled into a ponytail, and one purple-skinned with darker purple and green-striped hair pulled into pigtails.

"No way..." Sunset muttered. "The _Dazzlings_? What are you doing here?"

The orange one rolled her eyes. "Someone sent us a letter to meet them here. Said they would restore our full power..."

The purple one glared. "But instead, we found the ones who stripped us of our power in the first place!"

The blue one shrugged. "C'mon Adagio, Aria, it isn't that bad!"

" _YES IT IS, SONATA!_ " the purple one-Aria-roared.

Adagio sighed. "Mind telling us what this is about, Rainbutts?"

"It's Rain _booms_ ," Rainbow muttered.

Pinkie sighed. "Basically, we're reading a shitty recap of Canterlot High's history with magic, except with a Mary Sue named Starshine Perfection as our main character."

"And she turned me into a villain," Rarity added.

"And she turned me into a wimpy crybaby," Sunset added.

"And the rest of us are barely there at all," Fluttershy added.

Adagio raised an eyebrow. "If it's that bad, why are you still reading it?"

"Because getting through the series is our only way out of here," AJ said.

Adagio blinked. Then she tried to open the door. It wouldn't budge.

"Fuck..." the siren cursed under her breath.

"You girls came just in time for the whole Battle of the Bands incident," Sunset said. "Wanna join us?"

Aria growled. "Seeing as we apparently have no choice, why the hell not?"

Sonata sat down next to Pinkie. "Whos reading it?" she asked.

Rarity sighed. "Unfortunately, it's my turn," she grumbled, taking the book from Fluttershy. She waited for the Dazzlings to settle down, and then began to read.

 _A/N: Hulllloooooo fanfikchun dot nett! Welcum 2 teh sekwel of mah furst strio! Nao Starshine Perfection's gunnah joyn teh Batul ov teh Bandz!111a1! I hohp u lyke it!_

"Man, you weren't kidding about the quality, were you?" Adagio asked.

Rarity shook her head and continued reading.

 _Aftuh Twi-Twy had gon troo teh portul, we cut 2 a cafey were a lot ov peepl wer argyooin! An it wuz ol becuz ov tree bitchy gurlz!_

Sonata squealed and clapped her hands together. "Ooooh! That's us! That's us!"

Aria rolled her eyes.

 _Teh purpl wun namd Arya wuz grumpee az ushwal. "Uggh wen r we gunna get r majicc bak!?" Shee groned._

 _Teh bloo wun naimd Sunatah wuz stoopd az ushual. "Duuuh I dunno!" Shee sed._

 _Teh oranj wun naimd Adajioh wuz teh smartst uv tem oll. "Bee kwyet, I hav u plan!" Shee sed._

Adagio raised an eyebrow. "Ya know, that's a pretty accurate portrayal of us," she mused.

Protests from the other two Dazzlings were quickly silenced.

 _Den a gurl caim intoo teh cafey an woked ovr to teh gurls. "Yur syrenz, rite/" shee axed. Adojioh nodd. "Good, I wanna joyn u! I no how u can get yur majic bakQ!"_

 _Shee fliped her perpl hare an grinnd._

Rarity let out a groan. "Why me?"

"You know, your singing voice sounds a lot like Adagio's," Pinkie mentioned. "Just saying."

 _Meenwile, csanterlot hi szkool, Starshine Perfection an her frends wuz praktising there musik! Starshine wuz leed singr becuz her vois wuz sooooooooooooo pyur an bootiful._

Rainbow, AJ, and Aria gagged. Rarity continued reading.

 _Oh yea, an dey oll poneed up wen tey playd! An Starshine cud ponee up wil!_

"Friggin' Sue powers," Pinkie muttered.

 _Tey wer singin anuthr wun ov mai faiv songz! (A/N: Frum this stori fort, Im ussing oll te lyriks frum songs I choos!)_

"Kill me now," AJ groaned.

 _I live my day as if it was the last_

 _Live my day as if there was no past_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Doin' it the way I wanna_

Rainbow perked up. "Hey! I actually like this song!"

Pinkie rolled her eyes.

 **If you make another comment about copy-pasted lyrics, I will kill you off in the most brutal fashion possible.**

Pinkie gulped. "Duly noted."

"You heard that too?" Sonata asked.

"Heard _what_?" Sunset asked.

Rarity continued reading.

 _Yeah I'mma dance my heart out 'til the dawn_

 _But I won't be done when morning comes_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Gonna spend it like no other_

 _It was a crush_

 _But I couldn't, couldn't get enough_

 _It was a rush_

 _But I gave it up_

 _It was a crush_

 _Now I might have went and said too much_

 _But that's all it was_

 _So I gave it up_

"Please tell me the crush she's talking about is the love slave she's been teasing," AJ muttered.

"Love slave?" Aria asked.

AJ rolled her eyes. "Oh, sorry, I meant BOYFRIEND."

That was the last comment anyone had towards the song.

 _I live my day as if it was the last_

 _Live my day as if there was no past_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Doin' it the way I wanna_

 _Yeah I'mma dance my heart out 'til the dawn_

 _But I won't be done when morning comes_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Gonna spend it like no other_

 _It was a crush_

 _I kept saying I'mma stay in touch_

 _But that thing went bust_

 _So I gave it up_

 _No tricks, no bluff_

 _I'm just better off without them cuffs_

 _Yeah, the sun won't set on us_

 _Went low, went high_

 _Still waters run dry_

 _Gotta get back in the groove_

 _I ain't ever worry_

 _Went low, went high_

 _What matters is now_

 _Getting right back in the mood_

 _I live my day as if it was the last_

 _Live my day as if there was no past_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Doin' it the way I wanna_

 _Yeah I'mma dance my heart out 'til the dawn_

 _But I won't be done when morning comes_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Gonna spend it like no other_

 _Now I've found another crush_

 _The lush life's given me a rush_

 _Had one chance to make me blush_

 _Second time is one too late_

 _Now I've found another crush_

 _The lush life's given me a rush_

 _Had one chance to make me blush_

 _Second time is one too late_

 _I live my day as if it was the last_

 _Live my day as if there was no past_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Doin' it the way I wanna_

 _Yeah I'mma dance my heart out 'til the dawn_

 _But I won't be done when morning comes_

 _Doin' it all night, all summer_

 _Gonna spend it like no other_

 _Now I've found another crush_

 _The lush life's given me a rush_

 _Had one chance to make me blush_

 _Second time is one too late_

 _Now I've found another crush_

 _The lush life's given me a rush_

 _Had one chance to make me blush_

 _Second time is one too late_

 _Aftr teh song, Starshine Perfection's fone ragn!_

"It's the PPC! You're under arrest for violation of the plot!" Pinkie yelled.

"What's the PPC?" Fluttershy asked.

"That's information you wouldn't understand. Keep reading, Rarity."

 _"Hullo?...oh hay sweety-py...u R? Thats grate!...ok, see ya den!" Starshine hugn up an smyld. "Mai boifrend's cumin in2 taoun 4 teh moosical shocais!_

 _Evrywun cheerd happly! Den Sunfet Shimker axsed "Wuts his naim? U nevr told us!"_

 _Starshine smyld. "His naim's Ben Tennyson, of cors!"_

Rainbow promptly choked on something.

"You alright?" Sunset asked in alarm.

Rainbow stopped choking and glared at the book. " _No_ , because 'OmniLuvur' is about to mutilate the main character of my favorite TV show!"

Everyone stared at her.

"Oh, c'mon! Don't tell me I'm the only one who knows what _Ben 10_ is!"

"Um...I think you are," Fluttershy said.

Rainbow sighed. " _Ben 10_ is a show about a kid who finds a watch that turns him into different aliens. Later renditions of the series age him up from ten to about fifteen. It's fucking amazing. Well, except for season 3 of Alien Force. And the live-action movies. And the reboot."

"...okay then," Adagio said. "Continue, Rarity."

Rarity sighed. "Fortunately, it's the last sentence of the chapter."

 _Yay! Starshine Perfection's boifredn is cumin! But hoo r teh bitchs frum teh cafey? Find aout nex chaptr!_

Rarity sighed. "Okay, who's next?"

Sunset looked in the direction of the Dazzlings. "I guess it'll have to be one of you guys," she decided.

Adagio shrugged. "Whatever, it's not that bad. Just give it to me."

Rarity passed the book over to Adagio, and she began to read.

00000

 **A total of two people managed to guess the name of Starshine's** **love sla-sorry,** **boyfriend right!**

 **Out of three reviews.**

 **...**

 **Guys, could you please leave a review? I want to know how I'm doing on this. Thanks.**

 **Next chapter: the official physical appearance of Ben!...in OmniLuvur's story. He's not gonna appear outside of that. Oh well.**

 **Hope you like this story!**

 **~Storygirl000**


	8. Sirens aren't cover bands

**(le gasp) What's this?** ** _Another_** **update for the same story on the same day?**

 **Yeah, I had a lot of free time on my hands, so I decided to write more chapters. So enjoy!**

 **(PS The song Black Magic belongs to Little Mix. And since I forgot to do this last chapter, Lush Life belongs to Zara Larsson.)**

00000

 **Sirens aren't cover bands**

 _A/N: Hiya agin! Hoep yer oll luvin mah stori!_

"Despite the blatant spelling errors, it's actually pretty good so far," Adagio mused, at the same time everyone else said "No."

Sunset stared at her. "Okay, how are _you_ liking this story?"

Adagio shrugged. "I'm a siren, I've seen worse trying to keep myself fed. Besides, _my_ character hasn't really been mutilated yet."

"Lucky bastard," Rarity mumbled.

 _Nyways, heer iz teh nex chaptr! Aftr band practise, Starshine Perfection an hr frends wer eatin takos in teh cafteria!_

"IT'S TACO TUESDAY!" Pinkie and Sonata both yelled. Then they stared at each other and grinned.

"Y'know," Pinkie said mischievously, "the whole 'Battle of the Bands' thing never gave us a chance to bond properly. Wanna be friends?"

Sonata nodded enthusiastically. "I thought you'd never ask!"

"You're teaming up. This is an unsettling development," Rainbow said.

"SONATA! This is treason!" Aria yelled.

Adagio rolled her eyes. "Let it go, Aria."

 _Den sudenlee a groop of gurlz entrd teh cafetraQ! Tey wuz teh biches frim erlior! An th purpl harid gurl wuz nun othr than...RASITY!aq1111! Dun dun dun!_

"Is this what you'd call 'Ron the Death Eater'-ing a character?" Sonata asked.

Pinkie nodded. "Yeah, and Sunset was Draco in Leather Pantsed earlier."

"What the hell are you two talking about?" AJ asked.

"Remind me to show you guys TV Tropes. Continue, Adagio."

 _Dey brot aout a coupla mikes an began singin a hipnotizin tune dat hipntizd evrywun in teh cafetria! (A/N: I don liek teh Dazzlins' sonhgs, so I putt sogns frum mah Spoteefy acount hear insted! Itll b teh saim troo out teh storee!)_

Adagio sighed. "You know, there's a _reason_ we write our own songs instead of doing covers of pop songs."

"So you can make it blatantly obvious what your motives are to those immune to the brainwashing?" Fluttershy guessed.

The next few minutes were filled with sputtering from Adagio and loud "OOOOOOOH" and "BURN" exclamations from everyone else. Yes, even Aria. Who knew Fluttershy had it in her?

Once the noise subsided, a red-faced Adagio went back to reading.

 _"Hi wear teh Dazlins an were hear 2 hipnotiz u1" Radity sed. Den dey startd singn!_

 _All the girls on the block knocking at my door!_

 _Wanna know what it is make the boys want more!_

"Yay, more girly pop band music!" AJ cheered sarcastically.

Aria scoffed. "Like you're one to talk."

 _Is your lover playing on your side?_

 _Said he loves you,_

 _But he ain't got time._

 _Here's the answer._

 _Come and get it_

 _At a knocked down price._

 _Hey!_

 _Full of honey,_

 _Just to make him sweet._

 _Crystal balling,_

 _Just to help him see_

 _What he's been missing._

 _So come and get it,_

 _While you've still got time._

 _Hey!_

"Out of curiosity, how is this supposed to encourage discord and chaos amongst the students?" Rarity asked.

Adagio shrugged. "Maybe the magic's just doing its work behind the scenes."

 _Get your boy on his knees_

 _And repeat after me, say_

 _Take a sip of my secret potion,_

 _I'll make you fall in love._

 _For a spell that can't be broken,_

 _One drop should be enough._

 _Boy, you belong to me,_

 _I got the recipe_

 _And it's called black magic_

 _(and it's called black magic)_

 _Take a sip of my secret potion,_

 _One taste and you'll be mine._

 _It's a spell that can't be broken_

 _It'll keep you up all night_

 _Boy, you belong to me,_

 _I got the recipe_

 _And it's called black magic_

 _(and it's called black magic)_

Sonata scratched her chin in thought. "You know, this song's lyrics _might_ explain how Starshine Perfection got a boyfriend in the first place."

Pinkie nodded. "You read my mind." She tilted her head upwards. "Hey, Story?"

 **(sigh) Yeah?**

"Out of curiosity, how varied is the Spotify playlist you're getting these tunes from?"

 **Over 200 songs, from Disney pop songs to Panic! At The Disco...well, I only have one P!ATD song on the list, but it's awesome.**

"Do you have any rap songs?" Sonata asked.

 **One or two. Can you just get back to the story, please?**

Both Pinkie and Sonata grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, thanks," they said in unison.

By the time they finished their conversation with the author, everyone was staring at them.

Finally, Rainbow spoke. "You two are _definitely_ made for each other."

Adagio cleared her throat. "Let's just get through the rest of the song."

 _If you're lookin' for Mr. Right,_

 _Need that magic_

 _To change him over night._

 _Here's the answer._

 _Come and get it,_

 _While you've still got time._

 _Hey!_

 _Get your boy on his knees_

 _And repeat after me, say_

 _Take a sip of my secret potion,_

 _I'll make you fall in love._

 _For a spell that can't be broken,_

 _One drop should be enough._

 _Boy, you belong to me,_

 _I got the recipe_

 _And it's called black magic_

 _(and it's called black magic)_

 _Take a sip of my secret potion,_

 _One taste and you'll be mine._

 _It's a spell that can't be broken_

 _It'll keep you up all night_

 _Boy, you belong to me,_

 _I got the recipe_

 _And it's called black magic_

 _(and it's called black magic)_

 _All the girls on the block knockin' at my door!_

 _(I got the recipe)_

 _Wanna know what it is make the boys want more!_

 _(now you belong to me) [2x]_

 _Take a sip from my secret potion,_

 _I'll make you fall in love._

 _For a spell that can't be broken,_

 _One drop should be enough._

 _Boy, you belong to me (hey!)_

 _I got the recipe._

 _And it's called (black magic), and it's called, and it's called black magic!_

 _Take a sip of my secret potion,_

 _One taste and you'll be mine._

 _It's a spell that can't be broken_

 _It'll keep you up all night_

 _Boy, you belong to me (belong to me)_

 _I got the recipe_

 _And it's called black magic_

 _(and it's called black magic)_

 _Falling in love (hey!) [8x]_

 _Magic!_

 _Wen teh song wuz finshed, evrywun in teh caftris wuz argyooin wit eech othr! Onoes!_

 _Raritee fliped Starshine of. "Hahahahahahaah! Well turn teh shocais in2 a battel of teh bans, an u wont stop us!" Den dey sashayd aout. Starshine jus HAITS wen Rairtee sashais!_

"Oh, so you're Nikki Maxwell now?" Sunset asked.

Everyone looked at her. "What?"

"You read _Dork Diaries_?" Rarity asked.

Sunset rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment. "Yeah, in order to try and fit in with human society...I think I might have taken a few cues from Mackenzie back then."

AJ raised an eyebrow. "That explains a lot."

Adagio continued to read.

 _Den Starshine got a tex on hr fone! It sed Ben wuz waitin 4 her in teh skool parkin lot!_

"RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN, BEN!" Pinkie yelled.

 _Starshine an her frends skweeld n delite n ran outsied! Tear wuz a blak car w/ green strieps an in fron of teh car wuz a boy!_

 _He had soopr-cyoot shagy brown hare an larj green ais. He wor a blak tshrt wit a green striep an teh numbr 10 on it, braoun cargoh pans, green an blak sneekrs, an a green an wite alyen wach!_

"Oh, so she's using his _Omniverse_ design," Rainbow noted. "Also, that 'watch' is called an Omnitrix."

"And we care _why_?" Aria questioned.

"Because I'm the only one who watches the show and I don't want you screwing up any of the terms? Anyways, continue, Adagio."

 _"BEN!11111!" Starshine skweeled, runnng to hr biofrend "I mised u sooooooooooo much!"_

Rainbow, AJ, and Aria gagged. Adagio continued reading.

 _Ben saw hs grlfrend an smyled. "I mised u 2!"_

 _Ten teh 2 wer huggin an kissin an oll of teh othr grls wen "aaaaaaaaaw!" An Sunet Shimker wuz kryin n hapines!_

"No, seriously, why the hell am I always crying?" Sunset complained.

"Adaptional Wimp," Pinkie and Sonata said in unison. Then they turned to each other and yelled "JINX! JINX AGAIN!"

 _"We hav sum reely bad news tho!" Ranebo sed! "Well tel u abaout it at teh Cakes cafey!"_

 _Wut realy bad noos?" Sumwin aksed frum behin Ranebo._

 _Evrywun turnd arownd an it wuz TWYLIET WUZ BAK!_

"TWILIGHT EX MACHINA!" Pinkie and Sonata yelled as the Deus Ex Machina Alert blared.

Aria cringed and covered her ears. " _Please_ try not to bust my eardrums, you two."

"Sorry," both girls apologized.

 _"Twy-Tie! Glad yur bak! Starshine sed. Lets oll go to tdeh cakes cafey now! Well xplane dere!"_

 _An dats teh en of dis chap! Hoep u liek it! I no I did!_

"Whatever helps you sleep at night," AJ said. "Now, who's reading next?"

Sonata yanked the book out of Adagio's hands. "I'll go! I'll go!"

"Alright then," Sunset said. "Go ahead."

Sonata flipped to the next page and began to read.


	9. Revelations of caring and crushes

**Happy belated April Fools Day! I probably would've posted a joke chapter, but I was pretty busy yesterday, so I never got around to it. So here's a non-joke chapter instead.**

 **(PS** ** _Partners in Crime_** **belongs to Set It Off.)**

00000

 **Revelations of caring and crushes**

 _A/N: Du ya wana no haou Ben an Starshine met/ Its a secrit! (tee hee)_

"Eh, we'll probably be forced to read that story alongside the characters from _Ben 10_ ," Pinkie said. "Right, Story?"

 **...I still haven't decided whether that would be cruel or not. I do kinda like you guys, you know.**

"And you have a pseudo-crush on Ben, yet you're _still_ considering making him read works by OmniLuvur."

 **(sputter) H-how do you know about that?!**

"Oh, Story, I know about _all_ your fictional crushes. Lee Ping's the most recent, then there's (in no particular order) Gladion, Warren Peace, Bucky Barnes, Silver..."

Sonata elbowed Pinkie. "Could you stop embarrassing the author, Pinkie? We have a story to read."

Pinkie sighed. "Fine."

 **(phew) And this is why you're my favorite Dazzling, Sonata.**

"Aww, thanks!" Sonata replied.

Pinkie looked around the room. "Could you guys stop staring at us like that?"

"Only if you stop having conversations with the ceiling," AJ responded. "Just get back to the story."

Sonata nodded and got back to reading.

 _Nyways, on2 teh chaptr! The maen 8 + Ben wnt 2 teh Cakes cafay an tey oll orderd smoothees...Starshine an Ben got 1 wit 2 stros, teehee!_

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "That's the most in-character action I've seen from Ben so far."

"What, the whole being a sugary-sweet couple with a Mary Sue thing?" Adagio asked, her voice dripping wih sarcasm.

"No, him ordering a smoothie."

"...what."

"They're like his trademark favorite food on the show! I mean, besides chili fries. Or was that just Albedo? I forget..."

"Um, can I continue?" Sonata asked. Rainbow gave her an affirmative nod.

 _Wile tey had theyr smoothees, Starshine esplaend wut wuz goin on at teh skool. Twylite got uset!_

 _"Thoes saound liek syrens!" Shee eksplaned. "Ekcept Ratiry, but shee's a bich nyways, so dat counts."_

Rarity resisted the urge to have a repeat of the earlier incident.

 _"Dey fead of off peepl's angr an hatrid. Their liek chanjlings in revers!" Twyliet ekspland._

00000

Somewhere in Equestria, King Thorax had a feeling he usually only got when someone made a comment about his race.

He shrugged it off.

00000

 _"Dey also neerly destroid Ekwestriu if not 4 Starswrl teh Beerdd. Deyr vari, vari, danjerus!"_

 _Starshine startd shakin in feer, but Ben put hs arm araound hr to comfert her. "Dont wurry, Ill protict you," he sed, coz he wus sooooooooooooooooonice an romantc lik that._

Rainbow, AJ, and Aria gagged. Sonata continued reading.

 _"Ono! How du wi stap them?" Sunret Shimker cryed._

 _"Teh onlee wai 2 stop dem is w2 beet dem in teh Battul of teh Bans!" Twyliet esclamed._

"Actually, your first strategy was to yell 'Friendship is Magic' in public, giving us an opportunity to stir up more hatred and rivalries," Adagio pointed out.

Rainbow blushed. "Yeah, not exactly our best moment..."

"Actually, now that I think about it...why didn't you just try to beat us up and smash our necklaces instead of do exactly what we wanted?" Sonata asked.

Sunset groaned. "One, I had no idea how significant those were, except that you were the only ones allowed to touch them. Two, you could've commanded the entire student body to fight back. And three, as stated before, Twilight is too fucking nice, and since we were all following her lead..."

"That _is_ true," Fluttershy noted. "Sonata, can you continue?"

Sonata nodded.

 _Starshine smyld. "Gud thing wee sined up 4 teh shocais b4 it bcaim a batul of teh bandz!"_

 _N so tey desided 2 practis a son in apPljaks barn! An it wuz a doowet btwn Starshine an Ben! (A/N: Yay 4 luv songs!)_

"Sappy romantic song?" Pinkie guessed.

Sonata scanned the pages. "Um...romance, yes. Sap, no."

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Then what is it?"

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We swore that death will do us part_

 _They'll call our crimes a work of art_

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Partners in crime_

AJ's eyes widened. " _Finally_ , some good old rock n' roll!"

"Um, _this_ is a love song?" Sunset asked.

Adagio shrugged. "I suppose in a Bonnie and Clyde sort of fashion, yeah..."

"Anyone else having a hard time imagining Starshine singing this?" Rarity asked.

Everyone nodded.

 _This, the tale of reckless love, living a life of crime on the run,_

 _I brush to a gun to paint these states green and red,_

 _Everybody freeze, nobody move, put the money in the bag or we will shoot,_

 _Empty out the vault and me and my doll will be on our way,_

 _Our paper faces flood the streets,_

 _And if the heat comes close enough to burn then we'll play with fire 'cause..._

"Ooh, the Sue wants to play with fire? Hope she burns like the witch she is," Rainbow said.

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We swore that death will do us part_

 _They'll call our crimes a work of art_

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Oh, just try and catch us!_

"Tempting fate there, Mr. Master Criminal," Adagio snarked.

 _Here we find our omnipotent outlaws fall behind the grind tonight,_

 _Left unaware that the lone store owner won't go down without a fight._

 _Where we gonna go? He's got us pinned!_

 _Baby, I'm a little scared_

 _Now, don't you quit_

 _He's sounded the alarm, I hear the sirens closing in._

"THIS IS THE PPC! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST!" Pinkie and Sonata yelled.

AJ rolled her eyes. "That wasn't funny the first time, guys."

 _Our paper faces flood the streets,_

 _And if the heat comes close enough to burn then we're burning this place to the ground 'cause..._

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We swore that death will do us part_

 _They'll call our crimes a work of art_

 _You'll never take us alive_

 _We'll live like spoiled royalty, lovers and partners,_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Partners in crime_

 _[hardly audible:] ...police department. Come out with your hands up, we have the place surrounded. Put your weapons down, put your weapons down! Ready, men? Aim... Fire!_

"DING DONG, THE WITCH IS DEAD!" Sonata yelled.

"Unfortunately not, but we can dream," Fluttershy added.

 _The skies are black with lead-filled rain,_

 _A morbid painting on display,_

 _This is the night the young love died,_

 _Buried at each other's side,_

 _You never took us alive_

 _We swore that death would do us part_

 _So now we haunt you in the dark,_

 _You never took us alive,_

 _We live as ghosts among these streets,_

 _Lovers and partners_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Partners in crime_

 _Partners in crime_

 _AN 1ns teh song wuz finishd, Starshine an Ben maid aout pashunitely!_

"AHEM!" Rainbow coughed. "Makeout sessions with Mister Tennyson are reserved for Miss Julie Yamamoto _only_. Starshine, please escort yourself out the door."

"Who's Julie? Is she Ben's love interest?" Rarity asked.

Rainbow muttered something along the lines of "until that hussy Kai showed up" before nodding and motioning to Sonata to continue.

 _"alrite1" Ranebo Dahs sed. "Were definetly redy 4 teh Batle of teh Bans!" Evry1 cheerd haply at tis!_

 _But wut wil hapen teh Batle? Fiend aout nex tiem!_

"Before we continue, can I say something?" Pinkie asked.

The others nodded, and Pinkie stood up.

Then she shouted just eight words.

"I. DON'T CARE. WHAT HAPPENS. TO THESE CHARACTERS."

Sonata gasped. "The eight deadly words!" she whispered dramatically.

"Um...what do you mean by that?" Fluttershy asked. "I mean, they're us."

Pinkie took in a breath, then began to rant.

"Yes, they're us, but Sunset's counterpart is a sobbing mess that's supposed to have our sympathy, most of the _rest_ of our counterparts are background props, and the main character is a blatant Sue! And I don't know much about Ben 10, but _he's_ not exhibiting any personality either beyond 'loving high school boyfriend!' In fact, the _only_ person exhibiting _any_ sort of personality beyond 'perfect' is...is..."

She stopped, her eyes going wide.

Sunset quickly realized what Pinkie was trying to say. "Finish that sentence. It might shine a bit of good on the character."

Pinkie sighed in defeat. "...is _Rarity's_ counterpart."

"WHAAAAAAAT?!" Rarity yelled, rage evident in her tone.

"Congrats, Rarity, you're the best thing that happened to this fanfic," Adagio snarked.

Rarity took a deep breath. "Calm down, calm down..." she muttered.

Then she glared at the book. "I'm the only one with any personality, and the personality just happens to be _wildly_ twisted. Great."

"On the plus side, I've been rooting for you since we got here," Sonata said.

Rarity sighed. "I'm still not happy."

Sunset waited until she was sure it was quiet, then turned to Aria. "I think it's your turn to read," she told her.

"Fantastic," Aria grunted, taking the book from Sonata. She turned to the marked page and began to read.


	10. Oh sweet Celestia, please make it stop!

**Warning: the following chapter contains implied lewd activities. Nothing is in detail, but the more dirty in the audience might be able to visualize it. You have been warned.**

 **Feel free to complain about it in the reviews. (Or just leave a review in general, please, I'd like to know how I'm doing.)**

00000

 **Oh sweet Celestia, please make it stop!**

 _A/N: STARSHINE PERFECTION IZ NOTT A MARIESOO! AN Ben shud ONLEE be wit hr! Not Gwen er Kevn er Jooly er Kay or ny wun of teh biches u peepl menshund!_

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Congrats, you just got the entire fandom to agree on something-specifically, offing _you_."

 _Nywais, on2 teh storee! It wuz teh prehlimynairees of teh Battul of twh Bans, n Starshine's ban wuz goin onstaij! But onlee aftr dese shitee rapurs did an akt wit deyr shitee rap moosic._

"Actually, I thought Snips and Snails' act was pretty good," Pinkie mentioned.

Sonata nodded in agreement.

 _Aftr teh shittee rapurs got of staij, Starshine's Ban wen on! Shee an Ben intrtwynd hans! (A/N: I luv luv LUV thees 2! 333)_

"Gee, like that wasn't blatantly obvious before," Adagio stated, rolling her eyes.

 _AN den dey startd singn!_

 _I don't like my mind right now_

 _Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary_

 _Wish that I could slow things down_

 _I wanna let go but there's comfort in the panic_

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Again, I was expecting something more...sappy-romantic-sweet."

Fluttershy shrugged. "Maybe OmniLuvur's only requirement for a 'romance song' is if it's a duet between a male and a female."

AJ nodded. "Could be. Continue, Aria."

 _And I drive myself crazy_

 _Thinking everything's about me_

 _Yeah I drive myself crazy_

 _Cause I can't escape the gravity_

 _I'm holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _Holding on_

 _To so much more than I can carry_

 _I keep dragging around what's bringing me down_

 _If I just let go, I'd be set free_

 _Holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _You say that I'm paranoid_

 _But I'm pretty sure the world is out to get me_

 _It's not like I make the choice_

 _To let my mind stay so fucking messy_

 _I know I'm not the center of the universe_

 _But you keep spinning round me just the same_

 _I know I'm not the center of the universe_

 _But you keep spinning round me just the same_

"That's because you're a Mary Sue," Pinkie retorted.

 _I'm holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _Holding on_

 _To so much more than I can carry_

 _I keep dragging around what's bringing me down_

 _If I just let go, I'd be set free_

 _Holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _I know I'm not the center of the universe_

 _But you keep spinning round me just the same_

 _I know I'm not the center of the universe_

 _But you keep spinning round me just the same_

 _And I drive myself crazy_

 _Thinking everything's about me_

 _I'm holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _Holding on_

 _To so much more than I can carry_

 _I keep dragging around what's bringing me down_

 _If I just let go, I'd be set free_

 _Holding on_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _Why is everything so heavy_

 _AN aftr teh song wuz dun, teh odyens cheerd!_

Adagio snorted. "You _wish_. I don't think they even cheered for _us_ , and _we_ were the ones controlling them at the time!"

"Sues have the ability to do the impossible," Pinkie and Sonata responded. "JINX! JINX AGAIN!"

 _Bute den teh DAZSLINS! Caim on, led by tat beotch RATIRY!_

Rarity groaned. "Oh, you're still here, are you?"

 _Ratiree let aout a laff an began singin!_

 _Who's that sexy thing I see over there?_

 _That's me, standin' in the mirror_

 _What's that icy thing hangin' 'round my neck?_

 _That's gold, show me some respect_

"Um..." Sunset was at a loss for words.

Rarity blushed. "I can actually picture myself singing that..."

Sonata shrugged. "It sort of fits? I mean, technically we _were_ singing a song about how great we were at that point in time..."

"Just let me read," Aria snapped.

 _I thank God every day_

 _That I woke up feelin' this way_

 _And I can't help lovin' myself_

 _And I don't need nobody else, nuh uh_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _AN as tey wer singn, a montash hapind! It shoed evrywun preformin an teh Dazzlins and teh Ranebooms movin up in teh rancs!_

"MONTAGE TIME!" Pinkie and Sonata yelled.

 _I walk in like a dime piece_

 _I go straight to V.I.P._

 _I never pay for my drinks_

 _My entourage behind me_

 _My life's a movie, Tom Cruise_

 _So bless me, baby, achoo_

 _And even if they tried to_

 _They can't do it like I do_

 _I thank God every day (thank God)_

 _That I woke up feelin' this way_

 _And I can't help lovin' myself_

 _And I don't need nobody else, nuh uh_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _Turn the bass up_

 _Turn the bass up_

 _Turn the bass up_

 _Let's go!_

"Because you know I'm all abou that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble..." Pinkie sang.

Everyone except Sonata groaned. "Pinkie, no," Rainbow said.

Sonata grinned. "Pinkie, yes!"

 _I thank God every day (say to thank God)_

 _That I woke up feelin' this way_

 _And I can't help lovin' myself_

 _And I don't need nobody else, nuh uh_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _If I was you, I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _I'd wanna be me, too_

 _AN den dey wen of teh staij an Rareeti flipd STarshine of! "HAHA wer gonna beet u!" SHee sed._

"I hope so, Fake Rarity," AJ muttered. "I really hope so."

 _Aftr teh prelimynarys, Pinkee declarid a sleepovr hr hows!_

Suddenly, large buckets materialized in front of everyone in the room. Except for Fluttershy and Sonata, who got noise-canceling headphones instead.

Pinkie looked up at the ceiling, her eyes wide. "Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it means," she begged.

 **Sorry, Pinkie. I couldn't do a parody Sue story without including one of these. And, of course, the headphones are there to protect the cinnamon rolls.**

"I hate you so much right now," Pinkie growled.

Aria waited until Pinkie was done talking to the ceiling, then continued to read the book.

 _Evrywun wuz soopr happi an havin fun! AN Ben beet Ranebo Desh an ApplJak at a Soomo Slammrs gaim, and STarshine Perfection cheerd him on!_

Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "Yet _another_ in-character moment for Ben! I'm impressed."

"What's Sumo Slammers?" AJ asked.

"An in-universe video game and anime franchise. Ben's a huge fan of it," Rainbow explained.

 _Aftr teh gaim, evrywun wen 2 bed eksept Starshine an Ben. "I no wat ELS wii cud be doin..." shee sed seduktivly. (The real-grammatically-correct-author's-note: Sonata, Fluttershy, put your headphones on NOW.)_

"Who's 'the real-gramatically-correct-author'?" Sunset asked.

"The person I've been talking to," Pinkie grumbled.

Sonata, meanwhile, had put on her headphones. Fluttershy had done so as well, though more reluctantly.

 _An so dey wen 2 teh gest room an heers wut happnd._

I refuse to go into details about what happened. Let's just say it involved a cat-o-nine-tails, skimpy leather outfits, perverse sexual lust, Rihanna music, and whipped cream. If Christian Grey were to read this, he would apologize to every woman he's had a relationship with, sell his *ahem* toys, and go join the church.

Needless to say, by the end of the scene (which lasted an agonizing _seven pages_ ), everyone was throwing up in their buckets-except for Sonata and Fluttershy, who were just confused. Which is a given, since they couldn't hear anything.

"Whipped cream was _not_ meant to be used that way..." Pinkie gagged.

Rarity was looking much paler than usual.

Thirty minutes passed before Aria dared to read the book again. Fortunately, she just had a few more sentences to go.

 _Dat wuz fun! Nex chaptr, teh Rainebooms go agenst Trixy an teh Illooshuns! Hoo wil win? FInd aout nex ytime!_

Adagio moaned. "Okay, I'm not too familiar with the anatomy of a human male...but I think most of that was biologically impossible."

Sunset groaned in agreement. "And it's my turn to read again. Great."

Aria passed the book to her.

Pinkie glared up at the ceiling. "I will have my revenge," she growled.

 **Considering I control your life-** ** _including_** **your fourth wall breaks-I find that highly unlikely.**

"Touché..."


	11. Does Korea even exist in EqG?

**Obligatory Disclaimer: "I Am The Best" and "Just a Kiss" belong to 2NE1 and Lady Antebellum, respectively. As for the characters, I only own Starshine Perfection, whom I would gladly trade for the cast of Equestria Girls...**

 **And for the record, yeah, I'm writing Rainbow as a slightly crazy _Ben 10_ fan. Most of her view are shared by me and then magnified.**

 **(PS and please leave a review!)**

00000

 **...does Korea even exist in the EqG universe?**

 _A/N: I h8 h8 H***** Tryxy an hr stoopd ban!1111! Tere soopr anoyin, but nott az bichy az Rarty!_

AJ's eyebrows shot up. "Holy shit, I actually _agree_ with OmniLuvur on this. The 'Trixie being annoying' part, not the 'Rarity's a bitch' part."

Everyone except Rarity (who was silently fuming once more) slowly nodded their heads at this.

"In related news, the average temperature for Hell today is a frosty 0 degrees Celsius," Pinkie added.

 _so I almos dinit du dis chaptr, butt desidd 2 nywais, so heer it iz!_

"I almost wish you didn't," Rarity grumbled.

 _It wuz teh semyfynals an teh sttoopd Dazlins jus beet Flahs Sentrees ban!_

"And the boyfriend makes his first appearance," Adagio noted.

"In the series or in this story?" Pinkie asked. "'Cause he appeared twice in the last book."

"In this story, obviously. Continue, Sunset."

 _Nao it wuz daoun 2 Starshine Perfection's ban vs Tryxi and teh Ilooshuns! An Trzy qot 2 qo furs 4 sum reesn!_

 _Shee flachd a hyooj smyel. "Im tryx, dees r teh Iloojuns, an heers aour song!" Den shee startd singin!_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

"I think she actually tried typing out the song this time!" Aria snarked.

Sonata shook her head. "No, it's just in a foreign language. But which one?"

Pinkie pulled out her phone and started typing.

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Je je jeil jal naga_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Oh my God_

"Okay, it's in English now, but I still can't understand it," Rainbow muttered.

 _Nuga bwado naega jom jugyeojujanha_

 _Alright_

 _Duljjaegaramyeon I momi seoreobjanha_

 _Alright_

"Ah-HA!" Pinkie said. "I think I found out what it is."

"What is it?" Sunset asked.

"It's a song by a K-Pop girl group called 2NE1," Pinkie explained. "It's called 'I Am The Best'."

There was silence for a few seconds.

"...that _does_ explain why she chose it for Trixie," Fluttershy admitted.

 _Neon dwireul ttaraojiman_

 _Nan apman bogo jiljuhae_

 _Nega anjeun teibeul wireul ttwieodanyeo_

 _I don't care_

 _Geondeurimyeon gamdang motae_

 _I'm hot hot hot hot fire_

 _Dwijib-eojigi jeone_

 _Jebal nuga nal jom mallyeo_

 _Ojjangeul yeoreo gajang_

 _Sangkeumhan oseul geolchigo_

 _Geoure bichin nae eolgureul_

 _Kkomkkomhi salpigo_

 _Jigeumeun yeodeolb si_

 _Yagsogsiganeun yeodeolb si ban_

 _Dodohan georeumeuro naseon I bam_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Je je jeil jal naga_

 _Naega bwado naega jom kkeutnaejujanha_

 _Alright_

 _Nega narado I momi bureobjanha_

 _Alright_

 _Namjadeureun nal dorabogo_

 _Yeojadeureun ttarahae_

 _Naega anjeun I jarireul_

 _Maeil neombwa pigonhae_

 _Seonsu-incheog pomman jabneun_

 _Eoribeorihan Player_

 _Neon baram ppajin taieocheoreom_

 _Bogi johge chayeo_

 _Eotteon bigyodo nan geobuhae_

 _Igeon gyeomsonhan yaegi_

 _Gachireul nonhajamyeon nan_

 _Billion dollar baby_

 _Mwol jjom aneun saramdeureun_

 _Da araseo arabwa_

 _Amuna jabgo mureobwa_

 _Nuga jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Naega jeil jal naga_

 _Je je jeil jal naga_

 _Nuga nega naboda deo jal naga?_

 _No no no no Na na na na_

 _Nuga nega naboda deo jal naga?_

 _No no no no Na na na na_

 _Nuga nega naboda deo jal naga?_

 _No no no no Na na na na_

 _Nuga nega naboda deo jal naga?_

 _No no no no Na na na na_

Sunset let out a moan. "Do you know how hard it is to try and read and pronounce things in a language you don't even _speak_?!" she griped.

Rainbow shrugged. "That sounds a lot like my German class," she admitted.

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Beat!_

 _Bam Ratatata Tatatatata_

 _Oh my God_

 _Aftr deyt pefromans, teh odyens bood! Nobudy lyked dem._

Pinkie shrugged. "The one song they bothered to perform was decent, but it got repetitive over time. I wouldn't say they were terrible, though."

"Besides, they _did_ end up doing better than you," Adagio pointed out.

Rainbow growled. "Shut up."

 _Den Starshine Perfection's ban cim onstaij, an Starshine an Bens hans wer intrtwynd! It wuz soooooooooooooooo romantk._

Rainbow, AJ, and Aria gagged. Sunset continued reading.

 _Starshine brot hr mikrofoen 2 hr bootiful pnk lipps an startd 2 sing!_

 _Lyin' here with you so close to me_

 _It's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe_

 _Caught up in this moment_

 _Caught up in your smile_

Sunset clapped her hands together. " _Finally_ a sappy romance song!"

Sonata shrugged. "I suppose it was only a matter of time."

 _Den Ben did teh saym an he begann singin as wel!a_

 _I've never opened up to anyone_

 _So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms_

 _We don't need to rush this_

 _Let's just take it slow_

 _An den tey startd doowetin!_

 _Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_

 _Just a touch of the fire burning so bright_

 _No I don't want to mess this thing up_

 _I don't want to push too far_

 _Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

 _Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_

 _So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight_

"Rainbow, why do you have your eyes closed?" Aria asked.

"I'm pretending that Starshine's been miraculously replaced by Julie and plan on doing this for any further romantic duet scenes," Rainbow replied.

Aria stared at her.

Pinkie sighed. "Rainbow, it's perfectly okay if Ben dates people that are not Julie."

"NO! NO IT ISN'T!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "Continue, Sunset."

 _I know that if we give this a little time_

 _It'll only bring us closer to the love we wanna find_

 _It's never felt so real, no it's never felt so right_

"It's never felt so faaaaaake..." Sonata mockingly sang

"No it's never felt so wrooooong!" Pinkie added.

 _Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_

 _Just a touch of the fire burning so bright_

 _No I don't want to mess this thing up_

 _I don't want to push too far_

 _Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

 _Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_

 _So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight_

 _No I don't want to say goodnight_

 _I know it's time to leave, but you'll be in my dreams_

 _Tonight_

 _Tonight_

 _Tonight_

 _Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight_

 _Just a touch of the fire burning so bright_

 _No I don't want to mess this thing up_

 _I don't want to push too far_

 _Just a shot in the dark that you just might_

 _Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life_

 _So baby I'm alright, oh, let's do this right, with just a kiss goodnight_

 _With a kiss goodnight_

 _Kiss goodnight_

 _An. Aftr tey wer dun, evreewun opludded! Tey wer a sukses! WAAAAAI bettr den dat stoopd Trxy!_

"We get it, Trixie's annoying!" AJ yelled. "Just move on with it!"

 _Butt Tryxi wuz soopr jelus! "Arrrg haou cum u get 2 moov on an we don!?" Sheeyeld._

 _"Starshine smyld. Cuz obvyuslee weer bettr tan u!" shee tontd._

 _Bute Tryzi wuz haven nun of it an trapd dem beneet teh staij! OH NOES!_

"Wait a second," Sunset asked. "When Trixie trapped us under the stage, she made sure to do it when no one else was around. Here, it looks like she did it in front of _literally everyone in the school_. How was she not stopped?!"

Adagio shrugged. "It's already been proven that logic doesn't exist in this story, but if she had actually done it that way, I'm pretty sure the general reaction from your classmates would've been, 'Oh thank Celestia, that's one less band we have to battle.'"

"What about Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna?"

Aria snorted. "Completely incompetent, even when not brainwashed."

Sunset was about to protest, but then she remembered how easily she'd been able to start attending there in the first place.

"You may have a point..." she conceded.

 _An wit Starshine Perfection an hr ban aout off cumishun, Tryxy wen onn 2 teh fyuls, but so wer dat stoopd Rarety an teh Dazlins! Wurs, dere wuz nowun 2 stahp dem Ono! Wuts gunna hapin?! Fy aout nex chaptr!_

Rainbow smirked in Aria's direction. "Of course, we all know what's happening next chapter..."

Aria growled. "Shut up."

Sunset shrugged as she handed the book off to Pinkie. "Personally, I'm rooting for the Dazzlings here."

"So are the rest of us," Rarity grumbled.

Everyone nodded in agreement as Pinkie began to read.


	12. Ben finally remembers his powers

**Rainbow Rocks is almost over! Which means our characters will soon be halfway done with this torturous story...and we'll be getting a few new characters joining the fray! (And no, I'm not telling you who.)**

 **Oh, and "Firework" belongs to Katy Perry. The horribly mutilated version goes to me, I guess.**

00000

 **Ben finally remembers his powers**

 _A/N: Heer itis! Teh biiiiig clymax! Thisel b fun..._

"Unless, of course, you're us," Sonata corrected.

 _On2 teh storee! Starshine, Ben an teh otters wer stuk undr teh staij wit no wai aout! Wurs, tey cud heer teh Dazzlns singn 2 hipnotyz dere odyens! Difd I menshun tere wuz nowai aout?_

"Rainbow, why are you counting on your fingers?" Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow sighed. "I'm counting the number of alien forms Ben could use to get out of there."

"Good thing he forgot about them then, otherwise we'd have no cheap dramatic tension," Adagio snarked.

 _Synset Shimker wuz cring on teh graouns. "Weer 2 lait! We cant du enyting! Weer doomd!"_

Sunset let out an unappreciative moan. " _How_ did I go from badass ex-unicorn to _this_?!"

"I'm having Ember Island Players flashbacks..." AJ muttered.

"What was that, AJ?" Rarity asked.

"Nothing. Continue, Pinkie."

 _Starshine cumfertd teh poor gurl. "Its okai, will fiend a wai aout!" shee saed, cuz shee wuz sooooooooooooooooooooooo reashurin lek tat._

Rainbow, AJ, and Aria gagged. Pinkie continued reading.

 _But den, Ben had an idya! "Ill yoos mai onmytyks to get us aout!" Hee sed._

Aria clapped her hands together. " _Finally_ , someone states the simple solution!"

 _SO hee uzd hiz woch an trnd in2 red punchee gai-_

"Four Arms," Rainbow corrected.

 _-an punchd a hoel in teh woll 4 evrywun 2 go throo! Huray! "Nao 2 stop teh Dazlins!" hee sed._

"Please don't," Rarity growled.

 _Soo tey ran 2 teh top ov a neerbuy hil an got tere inschramens-_

Pinkie's Deus Ex Machina Alert went off. She quickly silenced it.

 _-an Starshine yelld "HAI BICHEZ!"_

"Subtle," AJ snarked.

 _Raretee sow tem an wuz fyurius! "Stahp dem!" shee yeld!_

 _So teh dazlins turnd in2 see ponees-_

"SHOO-BE-DOO, SHOO-SHOO-BE-DOO!" Sonata yelled.

Everyone except Pinkie stared at her.

"What?" Sonata asked.

Pinkie just continued to read.

 _An attaked dem! But Ben turnd in2 freezy ghost moth-_

"Big Chill," Rainbow corrected.

 _-an fout bak! "Plai witout mee! He sed. "Ill hold tem of!"_

 _Starshine noded an moshuned 2 Pynky. Shee heldd up hr drumstks an yelld "WE R STARSHINE"S BAN! 1 2 3 4!"_

 _Ten Starshine startd singin!_

 _Du u evah feel liek a plastik bag?_

 _Drfitn throo teh win, wonnin 2 start agen?_

Pinkie groaned. "The _one_ time you bother to type out the lyrics..."

 **Hey, just keeping it authentic.**

Pinkie sighed and continued to read.

 _Du u evah feal, fele so papah thin?_

 _Liek a haous uv cardz, 1 blo frum cavn in?_

 _Du u evah feel alredy vary peevd?_

 _6 feat undah screems but no1 seams 2 heer a thin?_

 _Doo u no dat tere's stil a chans 4 u_

 _Cuz thers a saprk in u_

 _An ten Starshine an hr frends startd poning up! "NOOOO IMPOSIBEL! SCREAMED RARETEE!_

"Very, very possible. I know from firsthand experience," AJ retorted.

 _"Bleev it, bich! Starshine yelld. Den shee resoomd singin._

 _U jus gotta igniet teh lite an let it shien_

 _Jus oan teh nite liek teh 4ht uf Jely!_

 _Cuz babee yur a fiyerwurk!_

 _Com on shoa em whut yer wurth!_

 _Maek em go ah ah ah_

 _As u shoot acros teh sky ay ay_

 _Den Ben turnd bak in2 a hyoominan sang wit Starshine an hee poneed up 2!_

"...okay, _that's_ not possible," Sunset clarified. "Only those already from Equestria, or with a close bond to someone from Equestria, can actually pony up when exposed to magic. Everyone else just gets magical abilities."

Rainbow shrugged. "He's part Anodite, that could count for someting."

"What's an Anodite?"

"...never mind. Continue, Pinkie."

 _Hee gott a cyoot lil rattail an green eers an green wins! An he wuz singin wit Starshine! It wuz holdin teh seeponees off!_

 _Baybee yur a fiyawurk!_

 _Cum on let yur colers burst!_

 _Maik em go ah ah ah_

 _Yer guna leev em oll in aw aw aw_

 _Den Ben startd singin hiz oan versis!_

 _U don haff 2 feel liek a waist ov spais_

 _Yur orijinul, canot bee replaesd_

 _If u onlee new wut teh fyoochur holds_

 _Aftr a huricain cums a ranebow_

 _Maibee a reesun wy all the dors r clozed_

 _So u cud opin 1 dat leeds u 2 teh perfict rode_

 _Liek a litenin bolt yur hart wil glo_

 _An wen its tiem yull no_

 _An den tey startd singin togethr agan! An teh seeponees wer blastd awai!_

"Dammit!" Aria cursed. "Why can't we win against this annoying brat?!"

Sonata rolled her eyes. "Because she's a Sue, duh."

 _U jus gotta igniet teh lite an let it shien_

 _Jus oan teh nite liek teh 4ht uf Jely!_

 _Cuz babee yur a fiyerwurk!_

 _Com on shoa em whut yer wurth!_

 _Maek em go ah ah ah_

 _As u shoot acros teh sky ay ay_

 _Baybee yur a fiyawurk!_

 _Cum on let yur colers burst!_

 _Maik em go ah ah ah_

 _Yer guna leev em oll in aw aw aw_

Fluttershy yawned. "These song sequences are getting kind of tiring," she noted.

 _Boom boom boom, evan briter den ta moon moon moon_

 _Its olways ben insied of u u u, an naou its tiem to let it troo oo oo!_

 _Cuz babee yur a fiyerwurk!_

 _Com on shoa em whut yer wurth!_

 _Maek em go ah ah ah_

 _As u shoot acros teh sky ay ay_

 _AN wit tat vurs, a gyant ranebow shot aout uf teh skai an blew teh Dazlins neklases n2 ittee bitee peeses up an launchd dem an Raritee far, far awai!_

"LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAIN!" Sonata yelled.

Adagio rolled her eyes. "How long have you been waiting to say that?"

"A while now."

 _Baybee yur a fiyawurk!_

 _Cum on let yur colers burst!_

 _Maik em go ah ah ah_

 _Yer guna leev em oll in aw aw aw_

 _Boom boom boom, evin briter tan teh moon moon moon!_

 _Boom boom boom, evain brtier ten tah moon moon moon!_

 _An wit tat, teh naou un-hipnotyzed odiens cheerd in hapines! An den cheerd evin mor wen Starshine an Ben maid aout! But teh reel aftuh mat cums nex chaptr! Stai toond!_

Pinkie sighed. "From the sound of it, we'll be halfway done with this shitfest after next chapter...which should hopefully be mercifully short. Rainbow, your turn."

Rainbow took the book from Pinkie. "By the way, how much do you wanna bet that-despite Cinch's presence-Rarity's gonna make a return as an antagonist?"

Rarity groaned. "No bets, please. We all know it's going to happen."

Rainbow shrugged. "Suit yourself."


	13. Good grief, there's two now!

**Alright! This is the last chapter of the Rainbow Rocks mangling, which means the girls are halfway done with this shit! Woo!**

 **Also, three new characters (one for OmniLuvur's story, two for the framing device) are appearing! (No, I'm not saying who.)**

 _ **Today Was A Fairytale**_ **goes to Taylor Swift. It's one of the few songs by her you can find on Spotify. (Most of the rest are from movie soundtracks.)**

00000

 **Good grief, there's two now?!**

 _A/N: Hai evrywun! Tis is teh last chaptuh ov mah 2dn stroi! An its gonna hav an apeerans bai sumwun ekstra speshul, but yull jus haff 2 wate an c hoo!_

"Taylor Swift?" Rainbow guessed.

"The PPC?" Pinkie guessed.

"Jason Voorhees?" Adagio guessed.

"Oh, I _hope_ so," Rarity replied.

 _So it wuz teh dai afta teh battul of teh bans, wich Starshine's ban had obviuslee wun! (ps Twilite had gon bak 2 Ekwestra 2)_

"No surprise there," AJ sighed.

 _Starshine had brot Ben aout 2 teh staij, were shee had a suprize waitin 4 him! Wuns he got dere, shee took aout her spakly pnk micke an beegan 2 sin!_

"NO! You already sinned enough a few chapters ago!" Aria yelled.

Sunset rolled her eyes. "She means 'sing', Aria."

"I know, but still."

Fluttershy sighed. "Not _another_ song..."

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _You were the prince_

 _I used to be a damsel in distress_

 _You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six_

 _Today was a fairytale_

"Yay, more sappy love tunes!" Adagio cheered sarcastically.

Rainbow shrugged. "My guess was sort of right, at least..."

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _I wore a dress_

 _You wore a dark grey t-shirt_

"Black and green, act-"

"NOBODY CARES, RAINBOW!" Aria shouted.

" _I_ do!"

 _You told me I was pretty_

 _When I looked like a mess_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Time slows down_

 _Whenever you're around_

 _Can you feel this magic in the air?_

 _It must have been the way you kissed me_

"No, it was there before your boyfriend even came into the story," Pinkie corrected.

 _Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _You've got a smile that takes me to another planet_

 _Every move you make everything you say is right_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _All that I can say_

 _Is now it's getting so much clearer_

 _Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Time slows down_

 _Whenever you're around_

 _Yeah yeah_

 _But can you feel this magic in the air?_

 _It must have been the way you kissed me_

 _Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _[Instrumental]_

"She left the instrumental break in there?" Sonata asked. "Talk about lazy."

 **Ahem.**

"I meant OmniLuvur, not you!" she sputtered.

 _Time slows down_

 _Whenever you're around_

 _I can feel my heart_

 _It's beating in my chest_

"No shit, Sherlock," AJ grumbled.

 _Did you feel it?_

 _I can't put this down_

 _But can you feel this magic in the air?_

 _It must have been the way you kissed me_

 _Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

 _It must have been the way_

 _But can you feel this magic in the air?_

 _It must have been the way you kissed me_

 _Fell in love when I saw you standing there_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _It must have been the way_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, oh, oh_

 _Today was a fairytale_

 _Aftr shee wuz dun, Ben aploded nisely an den dey kised!_

"Doesn't take much to make them make out, does it?" Fluttershy asked.

 _"Stil goin atit, u 2?" sumwun axed?_

 _Starshine ternd araound an saw HER BES FREND BAK FRUM SPAIS! (A/N: My bes fred KeithsOnleeTrooLuv wanded her OC in mah store so I sed yes! Shell be heer naou till teh end!)_

" _Another_ one?!" Rarity yelped. "I could barely handle the _first_ one!"

"Wait, who's Keith?" AJ asked.

Pinkie thought for a moment, then facepalmed. "Good gravy, they're infecting _Voltron_ now..."

 _STarshine Perfection's bes frend wuz naimd Jennifer Sparklepire, an she wuz a haff-Altyan haff-hyoomin gurl!_

"'Altyan'?" Adagio repeated.

"Altean," Pinkie corrected her. "To make it simple, she's half superstrong chameleon space elf."

"Ah. Gotcha."

 _Jennifer hadd tanne skyn an carot-colerd hare an emrald ais an frekals. Shee wor a purpel an pink strypd taink top an sparklee wite bell-botem jeensan purpel an pnk platfrom bootz. Shee also had 1 pink an 1 purpel eerin tat allaud hr 2 swic 2 her purpel-pnk paldin aoutfit an summin hr prpel-pnk lyon wich wuz seprate frum Voltrin!_

"She can summon a lion?" Sunset asked.

"A giant mecha version of one she can ride in," Pinkie responded.

 _Hr bayerd wuz strapd 2 hr hips an it culd tranform n2 an enrgee crosbow! Sheed gon up nto spais to halp Valtro n, but desided 2 taik a vacay an aten Csntrlot Hi!_

"So she's basically a space cop Sue," Pinkie moaned. "With a _lion_. Wonderful."

"Just what this story needed," Aria grumbled.

 _"OMG Im so happee 2 c u!111!11" Starshine skweeld, an shee an Jennifer hugd eech othr!_

 _But unbnonst 2 dem, sum1 wuz wochin dem frum teh bushis...it wuz (dun dun dun) RARETI!1111!_

"And _this_ is why I didn't want to make that bet with you, Rainbow," Rarity groaned.

 _But shee wuznt lookin at Starshine an Jennifer...she wuz lookin at BEN!1111!_

 _Shee tok aout teh powderd remanes ov teh Dazlins neklases in a smol bagee-_

"Holy _shit_ , how hard did that rainbow hit?" Sonata asked.

 _-an a smoothee cup, an grind manyacly. "I tink I jus faound Starshine's weeknes," she wisperd 2 hrself._

 _Wut's Rairtee gunna do? Wuts gunna hapen nex! Fin aout in mah nex storee, STARSHINE AN JENNIFER PLAI SPORTZ!_

Rainbow closed the book. "And we're halfway done with this shit!" she announced.

Everyone breathed sighs of relief, and watched the cover of the book change to read _Starshine an Jennifer Plai Sportz!_

"Out of curiosity, what _is_ this next event?" Adagio asked.

"An interschool acadeca and sporting event called the Friendship Games," Sunset responded. "By the way, if you ever decide to try and get revenge on Twilight, make sure you're not going after the one with glasses."

"Why?"

"Because that's not Twilight, that's her human counterpart."

"I've been meaning to ask, Sunset," AJ said as she took the book from Rainbow. "Do you know where your human counterpart is?"

Sunset opened her mouth, but before she could answer, she heard the door to the warehouse open.

"DON'T CLOSE THE DOOR!" everyone yelled.

Once again, this startled the people entering into closing the door.

Sunset cursed under her breath and took a look at the warehouse's two new occupants.


	14. TimberLight and intelligent villains

**I'M ALIVE! ALIVE I SAY!**

 **(ahem) Sorry I disappeared for a while, folks, I had a lot of schoolwork on my plate. But now it's summer! I can finally get back to writing and posting stuff! Starting with this new chapter of WEHSP. Enjoy!**

00000

 **TimberLight and intelligent villains**

The two people who had entered the warehouse looked around in shock. Finally, one of them-a girl with violet skin and dark blue hair with one pink and one violet stripe-managed to speak. "Um, what's going on?"

Sunset gave a tired smile. "Hey, Twilight! Might as well sit down, you're going to be here a while."

"Actually, didn't you say you weren't gonna make it?" Rainbow asked.

The other person-a boy with red-tan skin and green hair-spoke up. "The movie ended earlier than expected, and Twily told me about your book club thing, so we thought we'd check it out."

"Yeah, that was probably the worst decision you've ever made, Timber," Pinkie sighed.

"Er, why do you say that?" Twilight asked.

"For one thing, we're locked in," AJ responded.

The couple blinked. Then Timber tried to open the door again. As excepcted, it was locked.

"Let me try," Twilight offered. Timber nodded and stepped aside.

Closing her eyes and holding her hands out, Twilight focused all her magical energy into telekinetically moving the door.

Despite her best efforts, it still wouldn't budge.

Finally, after about a minute of effort (plus a few impressive pstandard psychic pstances), Twilight gave up on trying to open the door, instead deciding to ask the assembled teens "What else is there that I should know about?"

Applejack held up the cursed book and sighed. "Basically, we're not allowed to leave until we finish reading a crappy book series about our adventures."

"The writing is atrocious, and the star (pun not intended) of the story is Starshine Perfection, a blatant Mary Sue," Pinkie explained.

"And she turned me into a crybaby," Sunset added.

"And she turned me into a villain," Rarity added.

"And she's dating the star of my favorite TV show," Rainbow added.

"And the rest of us are little more than plot devices," Sonata added.

It was then that Twilight noticed the three other girls in the room. "Who're they?" she asked.

Sonata waved. "Hi, we're sirens. Pretty sure you've heard of us before."

After a second, Twilight nodded.

Timber shrugged. "Doesn't sound too bad. Where are we in the series?"

"We hit the halfway point before you arrived, and the series is currently focusing on..." Rainbow hesitated. "...the Friendship Games."

Twilight shuddered. "Um...okay then..."

Sunset raised a hand dismissively. "Relax. Knowing what OmniLuvur did to me, your equivalent in the story probably isn't going to go through the trauma you went through in real life."

Twilight wasn't really reassured, but she sat down anyways, Timber joining her a second later.

AJ opened the book. "Okay, let's see what OmniLuvur has in store for us this time."

 _A/N: Hulllooooo!1111! Welcum 2 teh 3dr stroi in ma Ecweschria Gurlz serees! Tisll cuvur twh evens uv teh Frenshp Gaims! Les get strated!_

Twilight shook her head. "You weren't kidding about the writing..."

 _It wuz a weak aftr teh Batul of teh Bans an evrythin wuz goin wel! Starshine's bes fren Jennifer an boifren Ben wer stayin Cantrlott Hi 4 a wile!_

 _Starshine an Jennifer wer curentlee on teh frunt stps ov teh skool wit teh ban playin a son 4 teh Cyooty Marc Croosadrs!_

"'Cutie Mark Crusaders'?" Timber asked.

Fluttershy smiled. "They're a trio of nice young girls who really look up to us-Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo. They're also on the peer counseling team, if I remember correctly-they think helping people find their goals in life will lead to them figuring out what they want to do."

Rarity gave a small laugh. "Of course, they're only absolute angels if you don't have to live with them. But considering that Sweetie's my little sister and Apple Bloom is AJ's..."

"Can I continue?" AJ asked.

Rarity sighed. "Sure, why not."

 _Aftr tey wer dun wit teh son-_

"Oh thank god she didn't type it out," Fluttershy muttered.

 _-mos ov dem lef eksept Starshine an Jennifer, hoo desided 2 chatt wit eechother._

 _But den sudenly a bus puled up an a grl woked aout! Shee wuz caryin a weerd scaner tingy, an she had a hoodee on._

"That would be you, right?" Timber asked.

"That would be me," Twilight confirmed.

 _Den shee startd scanin teh portul stachu!_

 _"Hey!" Starshine yelled! "Wut r u doing?!"_

"Scanning for weird energy signatures so I can research them when I get back to school," Twilight said, at the same time Rainbow said "Defacing the statue in the name of Crystal Prep."

"Hey!"

"Well excuse _me_ if that was my initial assumption!"

 _Teh grul panked an ran awai be4 Starshine an Jennifer cud cach hr._

Aria groaned. "You have a giant lion mecha at your disposal, couldn't you track her down using that?"

Pinkie shrugged. "Sues. They're like the force and magic, trying to explain it will make things worse."

 _"Hoo wuz dag?" Jennifer axsed. "No cloo," Starshine respondid._

 _Dey lookd in teh direcshun sheed ran be4 woking bak 2 teh steps. "So wers Ben?" Jennifer asced._

" _Finally_ someone points out he's missing!" Rainbow said.

 _"Hees at teh cafai gettin smoothees 4 us!" Starshine sed. "Hes sooooooooo nise liek dat!"_

Rainbow, AJ, Aria, and Timber gagged. Then AJ continued reading.

 _"Hee olso sed 2 w8 heer 4 him, so dats wut Ill do!"_

 _Meenwile at teh cafey, Ben wuz ordrin tree smoothees frum a gurl in a hudee-NOT TEH 1 FROMM BE4! Dis 1 seemd famileear 2 Ben, but hee dinit no wy._

"It's Team Rocket, and whatever business they're running is just a scam to steal your Pokemon," Sonata deadpanned.

 _Aftr he orderd teh smoothees-choklit 4 him, vanila 4 teh gurls-teh guril grabd 3 cups 2 fil-but secritly pored a fien red powdr in2 teh 1 shee fild wit choklit!_

"Adagio, what are the properties of a siren's gem when ingested?" Sunset asked.

"Instant lethal poison," Adagio responded. "Why?"

"Because in a second, OmniLuvur's probably going to screw it up."

 _Shee gaiv Ben teh smoodees an smyled. "Teh choklit 1s on teh hows" shee tol him._

 _"Gee thancs!" Ben sed. Hee tooc a sip of teh choklit smoothee an imediatly fel 2 his nees, dropin teh othr smoothees! O NO! MY SMOODEE!_

"Way to care about your boyfriend, S.P.," Timber snarked.

Twilight scratched her chin in thought. "This is happening in a public cafe, right? Why isn't anyone checking on him?"

Pinkie shrugged. "Logic has no place in this story."

 _Teh gurl jumpd ovr teh caounter an woked in frunt of Ben. "R u redy?" Shee axed._

 _Ben lookd up hr, hiz ais glowin roobi red. "Im redy to obai yur evry comand...mastr."_

 _Teh gurl smerkd an tuk hr hud of, reveeld to b RARYITI! ON NO! WHATS GUNNA HAPEN NEX! FIN AOUT NEX CHAPTR!_

Rainbow blinked. "That was...surprisingly smart."

"What do you mean by that?" AJ asked, handing the book over to Fluttershy.

"Well, the Omnitrix has been stated to be the most powerful weapon in the universe multiple times over the course of the series. However, for a good chunk of its time on Earth, it's been stuck to Ben's wrist. So in order to control _it_ , you have to control _him_."

"Why not just hack his arm off? Or, better yet, kill him?" Adagio asked.

"Many have tried and failed. Mind control is probably the best option at this point."

"Another thing," Sunset added. "Do you really think Starshine would be willing to fight the villain if she knew that they could basically order Ben to kill himself at any moment?"

Everyone shook their head no. Except Rarity, who was too busy fuming over her continued villain role to comment.

"Exactly," Sunset said. "This really _is_ a smart move on the part of the villain."

"Can I start the next chapter?" Fluttershy asked.

"Go ahead."


	15. Where's Cinch's personality gone?

**I'm back! After being inactive for a good chunk of the summer, I'm finally updating something! I've also been working on new stories and old, so hopefully you'll get to see those in the near future! For now, sit back and enjoy!**

 **PS: I think I may have semi-predicted a part of the newest MLP episode, "Fame and Misfortune", with this story...look it up and you'll see what I mean.**

00000

 **Where in the world is Abacus Cinch's personality?**

 _A/N: STAHP SAYN TAT RAIRTEES NOT A VILIN! Shees teh ONLEE reel bad gai n Mai Lil Ponee!_

I'm not going to type out Rarity's response to that. Let's just say it contained several creative uses of the word "fuck" and leave it at that.

Pinkie rolled her eyes. "So Nightmare Moon, Discord, Chrysalis, Sombra, and Tirek were only evil because she forced them to be? Highly unlikely."

 _Nao bak 2 teh stroi! It wuz teh nex dai an Ben stil hadint cum bak wit teh smoodees!_

"You're only noticing this _now_?" Timber asked.

 _Starshine Perfection wu getin wurryd, an so wuz Jennifer Sparklepire an teh res of teh gurls! "NOooooo bens abandind us!" Sunaet Shimker cryd!_

Rainbow snorted. "I _wish_."

"Of _course_ I'm the one who jumps to that conclusion..." Sunset moaned.

 _Starshine shuk hr hed. "No he dinit! Will fine him!"_

 _Den Prynsypul Seleschu caim up 2 teh gurls an tol dem "U bettr get 2 teh odytoriyum, cuz teh Cristul Pep stoodins r cumin 2 taek a tor ov r skool b4 teh Frensip Gaims!"_

"Um, that never happened," Fluttershy pointed out.

Adagio raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

AJ sighed. "If I'm right, this conversation is taking place the day before Crystal Prep actually arrived. She skipped over the whole 'Rainbow sings a cheery pep song' sequence."

Aria shrugged. "I wasn't there, so I don't care. Continue, Fluttershy."

 _Starshine smakd hr forhed. "Teh Frenshipp Gaimes! I furgot! Cmon gurls, Ben can wate!"_

"Exactly _what_ does Ben see in her again?" Timber asked.

Sonata shrugged. "Her inner sueishness, probably."

 _"Ya, les go!" Jennifer agrede._

 _So tey wen 2 teh oditoryum an all teh CGS stoodins wer haply interactin wit teh Cristol Pep stoodens!_

Twilight held in a snort of laughter. Fluttershy looked at her and continued reading.

 _Starshine an Jennifer wer hapy to c ol teh harminee! But den Starshine sah sumwun in a Crystol Pep yoonifurm dat she dinit ekspect!_

 _Jennifer saw hr starin. "Whos dat? Shee axed_

 _Starshine graould. "Dats RAIRTITEE!"_

Rarity gritted her teeth and glared at the book.

 _Jennifer gapsed! "Dat beotch who wuz soopr meen 2 u? Wuts SHEE doin heer! Mor importntlee...wys shee werin dat iky yooniform?!"_

" _Someone_ has her priorities in order," Rainbow snarked.

 _Starshine woked up 2 a krystul prep sttodin. "Xcyooz me, hoos dat?" She axed._

 _Teh stoodnt smyld. "Dats Raer Gem! Shees noo! An sos tat boy shee brot wit hr...Im shur theil b happi 2 chat wit u!"_

Twilight had a fit of giggles. The others looked at her for a minute before Fluttershy decided to continue reading.

 _Starshines ais wydind. "A boi?!"_

 _"Ya!" Teh stoodnt sed. "Wun wit brown hare an grean ais an...hay! Werer u goin?!"_

 _"Tah chatt wit Rair Jem!"_

 _"Okai! Hav fun!"_

"Let me get this straight," AJ asked. "You're going to walk up to the girl who's caused you tons of grief in the past few weeks, and who has currently taken control of your boyfriend's mind...and you're going to strike up polite conversation with her?"

Sonata shrugged. "Sues, I guess."

 _Butt be4 shee cud confrunt Rarety, Suoset Shimker caim up 2 Starshine holdin...Twylite's han?!_

 _Hay Starshine! Sunretn sed. "Dis is Twylit's hyoomin caountrpart! Shee's reserchin teh majic dis skool! I figyerd wee cud halp hr!"_

 _Starshine smyld. "Shur wee can halp!"_

 _Hyoomin Twilyt smyild. "O tank u!"_

"Starshine Perfection has ADHD, and nothing is going to convince me otherwise," Sunset said.

 _Twi-Tiw hel up a majik scanr thingee an Starshine poneed up 4 hr!_

"Congratulations, you just let the entirety of Crystal Prep know that we're probably cheating," Rainbow snarked.

 _"Yay! Tank u!" Twi Ti wed aftr shee got teh reedins._

 _Unbenonst 2 hr or aneewon els, RAREETY! Wuz wachin, an Ben wuz wit hr!_

 _"I need 2 get mah hans on tat scanr thingee...den I ken yoos it 2 taik ovr teh worl! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!11!"_

Rarity muttered a few death threats towards the author under her breath.

 _"Im gona nead yur help," shee tol Ben whos ais flashd red 4 a sec._

 _"Yur wish s mai coman...mastr."_

 _Raretee smyld wikedlee an den KISSD HIM ON TEH CHEAK! EW EW EWWWWW I CANT BELEEV I WROAT DAT!_

"Hands up if you prefer Ben and Rarity as a couple instead of Ben and Starshine," Pinkie said.

Everyone raised their hands.

"Considering some of the _other_ stuff you wrote, I'm having trouble believing you're grossed out by that," Aria grumbled.

 _Bak wit teh odders, Starshine an Jennifer wer tokin wit Hyoomin Twiliyt (nao cold Sye-Twy) wen a womin in bloo wakd on2 teh staij "Whos dat?" Axed Jennifer._

 _Sy0Twi smylde. "Dats Hedmistris Sinch! Teh hedmistres ov Cristole Prepp. Shee's reely nize an encurajs gud sportzminshp!"_

At this point, Twilight started laughing her ass off.

Adagio looked at her. "Okay, seriously, what's going on?" she asked.

Twilight quickly composed herself. "S-sorry, it's just...I'm finding it kind of funny, how the author is portraying Crystal Prep..."

The others looked at her.

"Um...okay then," Sunset said. "Fluttershy, can you continue?"

Fluttershy nodded and kept reading.

 _Twh hedmischres got a miek auot an sed sum stuf, but den Starshine reemembrd dat shee wuz goin to fine Rqrty an iterogit hr! So shee wen 2 fine hr an Jennifer Sparklepire folowed!_

"So we're not going to find out if Cinch lives up to what's been said about her?" AJ snorted. "Typical."

 _But be4 dey cud fine Raretee, dey bmped in2...sumwon els! DUN DUN DUN! Watll hapen nex! Fine aout nex chaptr!_

"How many of you think this mystery character is gonna be Ben?" Timber asked as Fluttershy passed the book to Rarity.

Everyone raised their hands.


End file.
